Cultivating a Connecting Culture: A Culture of Trust

Cultivating a Connecting Culture: A Culture of Trust
September 30, 2007
Rev. George J. Saylor

During the next five services we want to be very intentional about the kind of culture that we are going to cultivate here at Connections in worship, in our home groups, and in our service to the community. We only have one chance to launch this thing for the first time- and we want to do it well. We want to do it with creativity, with authenticity, and with excellence.

And we get one shot at trying to create the DNA of this organism. One shot at infusing into the soil of this church the kinds of nutrients we think are essential. There are many many good things good nutrients, quantities, values, hopes, dreams that we can talk about. There are also many bad things, bad nutrients, attitudes and agendas that we believe could derail our vision. But we’ve narrowed it town to five major nutrients to cultivate a connecting culture; trust- acceptance- truth- healing- connection. I want to break that down for us this morning.

Cultivating- there are certain things we are powerless to do. In fact, when you really think about it, we are powerless to do or change a lot of things in life and this world. Our church has this vision, this mission, and this paradigm for doing ministry here- to see people connect with God, with people and with the world. But we are powerless to actually make you connect with God- I can’t force you into the relationship; I don’t even want to force you into the relationship. We are powerless to make you connect with people in the groups we want to keep growing. We are powerless to make you connect with the world- you might choose to stay neatly tucked in a little bubble of your own existence- we can’t make any of these connections happen- but we can, and we will cultivate the type of environment where this might happen.

The bible uses a lot of agricultural analogies. In one passage a man named Paul wanted to set straight how the church really worked- he said it wasn’t about him and what he did- he may have planted a seed, another guy might have watered it still another might actually harvest it, but none one them made it grow- only God did that. The church, this church, can only cultivate- cultivate an environment where God can do His thing- where God can make connections and make things grow.

What are we trying to cultivate- a connecting culture- that is an environment, an ecosystem, a soil where this happens- a culture where it is natural for people to find God, meet others, find purpose and meaning and direct in the world. A culture when the norm is to be growing and developing.

So we want to cultivate trust- acceptance- truth- healing- and connection. But it starts with trust. It always starts with trust. Trust is so foundational, so vital, so essential, that it is actually rather difficult to examine it. For years I was involved in campus ministry and higher education, and I taught courses on group dynamics and building community, and the way that we did this was with what we called initiative or ropes courses.

The first thing anybody ever does with the group in this kind of experiential education experiences- we talk about trust. We do this because the whole flow of the initiatives course, of the experiential education, depends on trust- cultivating an environment where the participants can trust the instructor, trust the equipment, and trust the team. If the team cannot cultivate and establish a trust, then they become stuck- they can’t move on. They can go on to the low ropes course, let alone the high elements. But if they can establish trust, then they can go on to try some amazing things. It takes work, it takes communication, it takes being intentional, it takes personal and group effort.

(Demonstrate trust fall with Andrew)

Trust is a very precious, and quite delicate thing, isn’t it? The thing sabout trust is that I could catch Andrew a thousand times, but all that trust would be gone the instant I dropped him. If one time I started to day dream, not pay attention, and let him crash to the floor and smash his head, the bond of trust would be broken. That’s the difficult nature of trust- hard to build up, easy to break. I could tell story after story of the trust issues that came out with classes that I taught and groups that I lead. Groups that never made it to the high ropes course elements because they couldn’t establish trust. People reduced to tears, people taken to the breaking point because we were trying to create a culture where trust could be established, and sometimes it would never happen.

Three areas of trust had to be established for the group to move forward. First, they had to trust the instructor. They had to have a level of confidence that the instructor knew what he or she was doing and had the group’s best interest at heart. What was consistently amazing to me was how hard it was for so many to make that simple first step- to trust the instructor.

Second, they had to trust the equipment. For some this was the most difficult area- to believe that ropes could hold them, the platforms, planks, high wires and ladders were reliable. They had an deep rooted inability to trust the actually physical structure of the ropes course.

Third, they had to trust the group. And here is where the learning and cultivating really came in. Here is where we always had the most difficulty. Here was where the real issues came out. The idea of trusting ones body, of trusting ones thoughts or feeling with the group.

I remember the first time I heard the question. And I want to ask the question to you this morning. And you’ve heard it before, but I’m hoping you’re at a place this morning that you’ll hear it the way I remember hearing it. That you’ll HEAR the question wash over you so that you might really begin to examine the answer. Are you ready, remember now, you’ve heard the words before, but I’m asking you to hear the question now, “What would it really take for you to trust?”

Proverbs 3:5-6 gives us this bit of wisdom. Proverbs is this collection of all these pithy, wonderful sayings in the bible. It’s the “Things that make you go hummm” section of the bible. 3:5-6 tell us, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

So let me pose that question in a little different light now, what would it look like to trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding? Acknowledging, or putting God first in all things, in all areas of life- work, play, your family, your future, everything- trust that God will clear, make straight, a path for you? What does this kind of trust look like?

The bible tells story after story of what trusting God looks like. Last time we gathered I explained how the bible could be seen as a book telling the story of how God was re-connecting people with himself, with others, with the world. In that process of reconnecting we can also see the role that trust plays. Time and again, story after story, in fact with nearly every story, every person, is confronted with a choice- to trust God, or go their own way. To trust God and to fall into his arms, trusting he is there, trusting he will catch, trusting in his plan. Or don’t trust, don’t take the fall, walk away and play it safe.

Noah trusted that a flood was going to come, and so he built this gigantic ark to save humanity. Moses trusted God and confronted pharaoh, saying it’s time to abolish the slavery of my people even though your entire economy depends on it. Joshua trusted God and marched around a city seven times blowing a trumpet, a rather unconventional battle strategy to say the least. David trusted God and confronted a giant with only a slingshot. The kids this morning are learning how a man named Elijah trusted Go to provide for his needs, and was fed by bunch of crows and a widow and her son.

(Pick up water bottle) You know, one of the things I love the most about being a parent is the trust. Seeing how each of my kids is born trusting. They can’t help it, they have no other choice- they trust that they will be taken care of, fed and clothed, held and loved, protected and provided for. It’s like all of us are born with the well full of trust. It’s just there, it’s just full, and it’s just the way the world is supposed to be.

But then we start to grow and we start to get a taste of the world. And things start to happen, and the well of trust starts to get drained. And for most of us it happens a little bit at a time. You know, we trust our parents for something, and they let us down, and it’s like a little knife is jabbed into our trust. We tell a friend, then they go and tell someone else, and another jab in our trust. And we open our heart to someone, and then they start to take advantage of it, and another jab. And something horrible happens, maybe we’re violated in someway someone…or we lose our job…or we lose our health…or we lose a loved one…and all the while we keep taking these jabs and the trust just keeps draining out of our lives and before we know we are empty.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding- but George, you don’t understand, my heart’s been hurt, my heart’s been broken, my heart’s been burned, and I vowed, I pledged that never again would I be such a fool- never again would a trust my parents- never again would I trust man- never again would I trust a woman- never gain would I trust my spouse- never gain would I trust myself- never again would I trust God because I just don’t know if my heart can take it. Trust in God with all my heart, and lean not on my understanding- but my understanding is all I have. My understanding is the only thing that gets me through this world, my understanding is the only thing I can trust, my understanding is the only way I know how to survive.

I will tell you this today- I understand. I so understand. And I think others here understand as well. I think others here this morning have every reason in the world to legitimately say I will never trust again- I will not trust another person with my body, with my feelings, with my soul, and I will not trust God. We could call for open mic time and person after person, each and every one of you, could come up here and tell you story, and tell how your trust has been burned.

Some of you here today have every reason to never trust another person again. Some of you have every reason to never trust the world again. Some of you here believe you have every reason to never trust God again. But this morning I want try and give us some reason to trust again.

On the night that Jesus was betrayed, on the night that Jesus’ trust in his followers was going to be broken, on the very night when one on his best friends would set Jesus up to be captured and killed, on that night Jesus told that man, that group of friends, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God. Trust also in me.” John 14:1

Jesus then took some jabs in his trust, in his hands, and his feet. The story of our God is that of a God who trusted his son to us, and had that trust hung on a cross. Jesus trusted us with his love, and we drove nails through it. God knows how it feels to take hit on trust. He knows what it’s like to have that well punctured and run dry. God is not a God who stands callously by us as the trust is drained from our lives, but stands with us, ready to fill us up again. The bible tells us that by his wounds, by the wounds of Jesus, we are healed. By his wounds our trust can be restored.

What would it look like for you to begin putting your trust in Jesus? What would you try to do with your life? What would you do with your education? What would you do in your job? What great things would you go for? What goals would you set? What heights would you try to climb? Or conversely, how would you change the way to do business, write reports, practice law, medicine, whatever else?

What would it look like to trust Jesus with your relationships? To trust that God has someone special for you, and that you can wait for him or her? To trust that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do to find a meaningful relationship? To trust that God’s design for men and women and our relationships really is for our best interest and blessing?

What would it look like to trust your spouse again? To start the long road of reconciliation, to take small steps of trust? What would it look like to trust God for a fresh start? If the bottom has fallen out, if the relationship has ended, if you don’t know what or who is in your future? What would it look like to start trusting God?

What would it look like to trust God with our children? To trust that He loves them more than we ever could, that he does not want to see them sacrificed on the altars of this world- to greed and money and materialism and promiscuity and addition and abuse? To trust that God will make not just our paths straight, but the paths of our children? That if we cultivate the right kind of environment for them that they will thrive? What would it look like to be in a relationship with our kids where they knew they could trust us, and we knew we could trust them?

To cultivate this culture of trust in a ropes course you need three things- you need to trust the instructor, you need to trust the equipment, you need to trust the group.

Friends, for this culture to work, to try and do what we want to do here, we need three things as well. What would it look like for you to trust the instructor, to trust God? What would it look like for you to trust him with all your heart, and lean no on you own understanding?

We also need to trust our equipment, and by that I mean, ourselves, and how we are equipped. What would it look like to trust that God has equipped you with all the gifts and the talents that you need to fulfill his plans for your life? To trust that God made you they way you are for a reason- whether you’re a detail person or a visionary, a romantic or a realist, an introvert or an extrovert, however God equipped you, can you trust that that’s exactly what God needs in you to fulfill your purpose in this world?

And finally, what would it look like to trust the team, to trust this group, to trust the church? To trust that together we can accomplish more than we could ever dream as individuals. That together we can experience more joy and meaning than we ever could alone. To trust that the church is worthy of our time, of our efforts, of our giving, of bringing our friends?

To make this happen, we have to take the fall. We have to turn out back, fold our arms, and fall into the arms of God and into the arms of other people. We won’t be foolish about it. If I’m going to fall into your arms I’m gonna check, are you ready, I might even ask again, I may even turn around just to be sure, but then I want to fall, I want to trust- because it is a rush.

Friends, there’s nothing like it. There’s nothing quite like believing in a group of people so much you’ll fall backwards off a 6 foot deck. There’s nothing like climbing 50ft over the ground and leaping from a pole, knowing that your belay is gonna catch you, your team is gonna cheer you on.

And there’s nothing like trusting God- trusting him for our eternity, trusting him for our here and now. Trusting him to lead and guide and make our paths straight.

A year ago my family heard the call of God. He used a lot of people, a lot of doors opening, a lot of doors closing, a lot of things coming together to show us a clear path. And when we felt confident that we hadn’t conjured up this dream in our minds, we took the trust fall. The bible says that Abram left his country, his land, his people, and he went where God called him to go. He believed a promise that through this action, this trust, that a nation would be born, and that the world would be blessed. He really didn’t know much anything else.

I don’t know where this is going folks, but we left our country, our land, our church, our people, and our friends. We came to London to start Connections Community Church because we wanted to listen to where God was calling, and maybe, maybe through this trust, we might be a blessing. Maybe even a blessing for the whole world. We’ll trust God, and see what happens.