Go to the new Message site:
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Thursday, January 22, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
Soul Revolution: RENEW
January 4, 2009
Well folks, the honeymoon is over. We are officially one year old in public ministry today! We "launched" on the first Sunday of 2008. And we haven't missed a Sunday since. I don’t think this is the kind of thing we’d want to do all the time, but at the end of the first year it somehow seems appropriate, even necessary to me, that we just stop and look back on all that has happened.
Over and over again the people of god are called to remember who God is, what god had done for them, and what God promised to do for them. It was a way or remembering God’s faithfulness in the past to build faith for what he’s do in the future. On these occasions the people would renew their vows to God. Abraham renewed the covenant with God when his son was born after 20 years of waiting, at 100 years of age. Moses renewed the covenant before the people took possession of the Promised Land. Joshua renewed the covenant when it was time for him to pass on the torch of leadership to the next generation. Over and over again we see this as a essential part of worshiping God and being his people. It wasn’t that God forget, it is that we do. We need these occasions.
At one point in the history of God’s people they had forgotten the covenant for so long that the book of Deuteronomy, ironically the covenant renewal documents Moses wrote, had actually been lost! Young king named Josiah took the throne and when, in a building project, the scrolls of the law was discovered, he said this…
This past year we were on one speed- fast forward. So today I want to start by hitting the pause button, rewinding a bit, and reviewing our first year. And in reviewing our first year, I hope we will RENEW our passion and commitment to what got Connections started in the first place. Because ultimately I don’t want us to just look back, I want us to look ahead with a RENEWED sense of passion and commitment to God.
Here are some of the highlights, simply off the top of my head:
We kicked off the year with a brunch to celebrate our launch. That was so much fun we are doing it again on January 18th. Join us, Our first series was "Resolutions Worth Keeping." We talked about four occasions in the bible when some made a resolution, which is defined, "to be fixed in purpose." We took from these stories four resolutions for our church, all based on the desire to "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)
I've prayed for, wrestled with, and thought about those goals all year long. Were they audacious enough? Were they too small? Were they tangible enough that we could gauge our progress? Were they my hopes, or God's plans? Well, here's where we sit a year later:
* We grew to see over 200 people coming to worship with us Sunday mornings this fall. But we haven't felt the need to offer a second service.
* We increased our volunteer base to nearly 125 people. So more than half of the folks that worship at Connections also volunteers at Connections.
* We launched our Connection Groups with more than 100 people registered.
* We've seen many people tell us they have committed or re-committed their lives to Jesus, but this one is hard to gauge. It's very personal, plus, we don't want to "force" or manipulate people or decisions. Yet we want to be very intentional. So, by way of our communication cards or other direct communication, I've had 12 people tell me they made a first time commitment or re-commitment to Jesus.
In February we had what I thought was our most fun series of the year- "How to Look Good Naked." I've been tempted to try to turn this series into a book. I really think God was up to something in those messages.
In March we began a series that took us through Easter, "Vantage Point." We looked at the different points-of-view that many had about Jesus during his life, and today. (I also went on a ski trip in March and made a video sermon that was pretty fun, and went over fairly well. Incidentally, in that video we tried to use some trick photography. I grew a beard for about two weeks, then we filmed the second half of the message first. I shaved, then we filmed the first half. So when I told the bible story that covered the span of one week, it was supposed to look like a week went by and I grew a beard during that time. In theory the idea was sound. In practice, I haven’t really hit puberty yet, so no one noticed I tried to grow a beard, or that I had shaved my beard.)
Anyways… We called April our "Volunteer Appreciation Month" and gave out t-shirts to all our peeps. We talked about our “Signs of Belonging” at Connections. Here we defined what it looks like to be a part of our church:
* Soaring in Worship- making worship a priority, corporately and in all our lives.
* Studying God's Word- setting aside time 5 days a week to read the bible and pray.
* Stewarding God's Gifts- out time, our talents and our treasure (yes, money). Joining a Connection Group is a great way to help us in this area.
* Serving God's People- signing up for a ministry team, or helping us create new teams for our church and community.
* Sharing God's Love- picking 2 people we can intentionally pray for and invite into our lives.
We also had our "Connections Gives Back" mini-series where we highlighted the work of the International Justice Mission and our own crew of people who were going to bike across the US and Canada in "Sea-2-Sea: Ending the Cycle of Poverty." John Vandersteen, Mike Talsma and Thea Hiemstra together raised over $20,000 and joined more than 200 people, together raising over 2.1 million dollars. (Show a slide of them here please) This was an AWESOME cause for our church to feel a part. I pray things like this will become the norm for Connections and our people. We also welcomed back Kat Zietsma who had been serving in mission to India and New Zealand.
When we hit the summer season we launched into a study of the book of Philippians that we called "Breakout." This is going to become my routine for the foreseeable future- each summer we'll work through a whole book or section of the bible- just taking the whole thing apart piece by piece. What is so wonderful about going through whole books and sections of the bible is that it then that we really see how truly relevant the bible is to our time and our day. We just set aside our agenda and let God’s word guide and teach us.
In August we ran a series called "Into the Wild." I was blown away by the feedback I got from this series. We had four people commit/recommit their lives to Jesus. Plus, the band did the coolest cover of Hard Sun ever!
In the Fall we kicked things off with "Wiii Church." This is when we really seemed to get into the zone at Connections. Numbers came up, folks were getting involved, the family ministry was flourishing with Sarah DeVries at the helm, I put a renewed focus on our Media ministry, and we formally launched our Connection Group ministry. (Show Connection Group Slide)
More than 100 signed up as we started a semester approach to home-groups based on three guiding values: Common Purpose, Common Place, Common Possessions. Our purpose is Connections, our place is as neighbors in homes, and our life is to be shared together, even through caring for the material and physical needs of one another, in addiction to emotional and spiritual support. I could go on and on here, but suffice to say- we got off to a great start!
We also had our first Communion and Baptism service. No promises on what this will look like in the future, but for now, it's enough to see folks stepping forward and making this public profession of faith in Jesus and participation in His church.
All through October we went on the faith journey from: Petri(fied) to Justi(fied) to Sancti(fied) to Glori(fied). I thought it was super cool, maybe more than anyone else. Thanks for indulging my goofy ideas. At least we sported some cool t-shirts.
Our Game of Life series I got to make everyone uncomfortable as I talked about sex. Then I got to be uncomfortable as I talked about money. I already have plans to do a Game of Life series, Part 2 (there are just so many great games out there can we can use to dive into some great topics. Spoiler alert- Taboo is gonna make you all squirm!)
Finally, we ended 2008 with "The Advent Conspiracy." Worship Fully- Spend Less- Give More- Love All. Whatever our particular needs were, we hoped and prayed and planned for a great celebration of the incarnation of God, the birth of the Christ, Jesus. Last week I encouraged everyone to position yourselves to encounter God in 2009. To make the decision to do your part in making life intersect with God.
And as I look back on the past year, I am humbled and awed by all that God has done and how he has intersected with Connections. I am truly amazed
(I am also amazed at how many babies were born this past year. Good grief people, can’t you couples keep your pants on? I mean there are other options for things to do. You could watch a movie or play a board game or something.)
And more, I'm blown away to genuinely feel that we've only just begun. The first step was just getting started. Casting the vision, sharing a dream, seeing if anyone would want to get on board. The second step was getting this year under our belt. To see if anyone would care. If anyone would show up. If anyone would get involved. And you have.
Now, this morning, before anything else we do this year, I want to invite everyone here to renew your commitment in 2009. Connections started with a simple plan to take part in a very big mission. It’s a simple way of doing and being the church. It’s our way to taking part in a much bigger plan and mission, which is to join with God in what he’s doing in the world.
Our simple mission is our simple method. Connecting with God…with People…with the World. We want people to know that they can connect with God through a relationship with Jesus Christ. That in faith we believe that Jesus meets us where we are and takes us to himself so that, as the bible teaches, our lives are hidden in his. Our lives and brought into connection with Jesus.
We want people to connect with other people. When you put your life in Jesus, and when I put my life in Jesus, our lives are then joined together in the mystical union with Jesus. The bible even goes so far as to call us now brothers and sisters in Christ.
We want people in Jesus to then connect with the world. God created the world, loves the world, gave his life for the world, and has a plan to renew the world. God has not let the world go to hell in a hand basket, and is not letting the world go to hell. In fact it could be more the opposite- God is bring heaven to earth in the new Kingdom.
This is our mission and our simple plan. We invite people to join us in connecting with God in worship here on Sundays- what we are doing right now. We believe that gathering together in worship is not just a religious practice, but is a relational norm for the church. We believe there is a special spiritual dynamic in gathering together. We believe there is benefit and blessing to sing and pray together. We believe that God’s word, the bible, is to be openly taught and applied.
We believe that it is a reveled and essential human need, and spiritual need, to connect with one another. So we have created a structure in which we can connect in homes in groups with each other. We believe that something happens to our lives when we simple connect with others. Sometimes it’s dramatic, usually it’s not, but our need for human connection is every bit as essential as our need for oxygen and water.
Our simple plan then is to connect people to the world to share and grow together in this mission. People can join a ministry team. People can do things like bike across the country or go to India. And people can allow it to happen much more organically, and much more locally. We believe we are part of God’s redeeming mission to love the world when we shovel a neighbor’s driveway. When we say a kind thing or offer a act of service or open our eyes to the needs all around us- anything and everything done in love in the name of Jesus is part of living his mission in our world.
Today I invite you to join a Soul Revolution. A revolution of how we understand ourselves in the eyes of God, and in relation to God. For years perhaps you’ve heard this idea thrown around: Christianity is about a relationship, not a religion. We like the sounds of that, but what does it even mean? The very people, such as myself, who make this claim, seem to be living a very religious life. We go to church on Sunday. We join home groups. We read our bibles and pray regularly. We even give to the church a portion of our money. We speak about and hope for a relationship, but all we can seem to offer is a different religious package.
But where as religion offers a one-size-fits all plan for spiritual growth, relationship invites us to something completely unique- as unique as the individuals who comprise the relationship. I have three kids. I have a relationship with all three of my children. But each relationship, and our ways of relating, are completely different. My oldest daughter craves time with me to talk. I can take her out on a date and she can talk my ear off. The girl has an insatiable ability to talk. She’s highly intelligent and extremely verbal. Love her. I love being with her.
My middle child loves to do projects together. She has more artistic talent in her little finger than most people have in their whole body. She loves making things together. She loves giving gifts. She’ll work for hours making stuff, wrapping it up, giving it away. Just being with her as we make stuff is like heaven on earth to her.
My youngest, my boy, couldn’t be more different. He is so sweet it makes my heart melt. I watch him just hold onto his mom, he kisses his mom. He loves his mom so much and he tries so hard to help her. But when he sees me, he attacks. He jumps in my arms. He says let’s going biking, or skiing, or throw a ball, or bike down a ski hill while throwing things at each other. He wants to wrestle and laugh and play with his toys.
They are all my kids. They are all so me. And they are as unique as can be. And my relationship with them as their father is equally as unique. Imagine if I demanded they all relate to me the same way? Imagine if I could only relate to them in one way? I wouldn’t be a very good father, and we wouldn’t each have a very strong relationship.
But there are some threads which run through each relationship. They all want love from me, they all want time with me, they all want to do something for me. Each child needs my unconditional love. And each of us needs the unconditional love of God. Each needs time with me to express love and grow the relationship. And so each of us needs to find ways to spend time with God where by we can experience his love. Each child wants to do something for me, they each are trying to express their love to me. And so each of us needs to reflect back and express our love to God in ways that make sense and work for us.
This month I want us to get past our one-size-fits all religious practice and plan for spiritual growth. I want us to find the ways that we can love and be loved by God, the ways of spending time together with God that make sense to us. And the ways in which we can express our love for God.
So today, I invite us all to renew our commitment to this mission in 2009. Or if you are new to Connections, to journey with us and see if this mission, and if this community of people, isn’t one of the most awesome things you’ve every experienced. But I still ask you to commit to it, because you’ll never experience it standing on the sidelines. You’ll see it, you’ll hear it, and you can even get excited about it. And if you’re on the sidelines today, I’m so grateful. If you need more time on the sidelines, I understand, and that is fine. But if you are ready to jump into the game I invite you to our starting lineup!
Because I believe we are going to see some amazing things happen this coming year. I believe that God is going to do some things that we don’t even know how to ask for or imagine so that when He does, we can’t take any of the credit, and He will get all the glory.
And this I know- I can’t do it without you. Our church is no more than the people who put their lives in Jesus Christ, and who come together as Connections. Alone, I am a child of God, known and loved by God. And that’s an awesome thing. Alone, you are loved by God as well. But together, we are the church. And together, there is nothing we can’t do.
Well folks, the honeymoon is over. We are officially one year old in public ministry today! We "launched" on the first Sunday of 2008. And we haven't missed a Sunday since. I don’t think this is the kind of thing we’d want to do all the time, but at the end of the first year it somehow seems appropriate, even necessary to me, that we just stop and look back on all that has happened.
Over and over again the people of god are called to remember who God is, what god had done for them, and what God promised to do for them. It was a way or remembering God’s faithfulness in the past to build faith for what he’s do in the future. On these occasions the people would renew their vows to God. Abraham renewed the covenant with God when his son was born after 20 years of waiting, at 100 years of age. Moses renewed the covenant before the people took possession of the Promised Land. Joshua renewed the covenant when it was time for him to pass on the torch of leadership to the next generation. Over and over again we see this as a essential part of worshiping God and being his people. It wasn’t that God forget, it is that we do. We need these occasions.
At one point in the history of God’s people they had forgotten the covenant for so long that the book of Deuteronomy, ironically the covenant renewal documents Moses wrote, had actually been lost! Young king named Josiah took the throne and when, in a building project, the scrolls of the law was discovered, he said this…
1 Then the king called together all the elders of Judah and Jerusalem. 2 He went up to the temple of the LORD with the men of Judah, the people of Jerusalem, the priests and the prophets—all the people from the least to the greatest. He read in their hearing all the words of the Book of the Covenant, which had been found in the temple of the LORD. 3 The king stood by the pillar and renewed the covenant in the presence of the LORD -to follow the LORD and keep his commands, regulations and decrees with all his heart and all his soul, thus confirming the words of the covenant written in this book. Then all the people pledged themselves to the covenant. 2 kings 23:1-3
This past year we were on one speed- fast forward. So today I want to start by hitting the pause button, rewinding a bit, and reviewing our first year. And in reviewing our first year, I hope we will RENEW our passion and commitment to what got Connections started in the first place. Because ultimately I don’t want us to just look back, I want us to look ahead with a RENEWED sense of passion and commitment to God.
Here are some of the highlights, simply off the top of my head:
We kicked off the year with a brunch to celebrate our launch. That was so much fun we are doing it again on January 18th. Join us, Our first series was "Resolutions Worth Keeping." We talked about four occasions in the bible when some made a resolution, which is defined, "to be fixed in purpose." We took from these stories four resolutions for our church, all based on the desire to "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)
- To grow in worship to two services;
- To increase our volunteer based to 100 people;
- To launch our Connection Groups ministry in the fall with 200 participants;
- To see 52 people give their lives to Jesus- one for every week of the year.
I've prayed for, wrestled with, and thought about those goals all year long. Were they audacious enough? Were they too small? Were they tangible enough that we could gauge our progress? Were they my hopes, or God's plans? Well, here's where we sit a year later:
* We grew to see over 200 people coming to worship with us Sunday mornings this fall. But we haven't felt the need to offer a second service.
* We increased our volunteer base to nearly 125 people. So more than half of the folks that worship at Connections also volunteers at Connections.
* We launched our Connection Groups with more than 100 people registered.
* We've seen many people tell us they have committed or re-committed their lives to Jesus, but this one is hard to gauge. It's very personal, plus, we don't want to "force" or manipulate people or decisions. Yet we want to be very intentional. So, by way of our communication cards or other direct communication, I've had 12 people tell me they made a first time commitment or re-commitment to Jesus.
In February we had what I thought was our most fun series of the year- "How to Look Good Naked." I've been tempted to try to turn this series into a book. I really think God was up to something in those messages.
In March we began a series that took us through Easter, "Vantage Point." We looked at the different points-of-view that many had about Jesus during his life, and today. (I also went on a ski trip in March and made a video sermon that was pretty fun, and went over fairly well. Incidentally, in that video we tried to use some trick photography. I grew a beard for about two weeks, then we filmed the second half of the message first. I shaved, then we filmed the first half. So when I told the bible story that covered the span of one week, it was supposed to look like a week went by and I grew a beard during that time. In theory the idea was sound. In practice, I haven’t really hit puberty yet, so no one noticed I tried to grow a beard, or that I had shaved my beard.)
Anyways… We called April our "Volunteer Appreciation Month" and gave out t-shirts to all our peeps. We talked about our “Signs of Belonging” at Connections. Here we defined what it looks like to be a part of our church:
* Soaring in Worship- making worship a priority, corporately and in all our lives.
* Studying God's Word- setting aside time 5 days a week to read the bible and pray.
* Stewarding God's Gifts- out time, our talents and our treasure (yes, money). Joining a Connection Group is a great way to help us in this area.
* Serving God's People- signing up for a ministry team, or helping us create new teams for our church and community.
* Sharing God's Love- picking 2 people we can intentionally pray for and invite into our lives.
We also had our "Connections Gives Back" mini-series where we highlighted the work of the International Justice Mission and our own crew of people who were going to bike across the US and Canada in "Sea-2-Sea: Ending the Cycle of Poverty." John Vandersteen, Mike Talsma and Thea Hiemstra together raised over $20,000 and joined more than 200 people, together raising over 2.1 million dollars. (Show a slide of them here please) This was an AWESOME cause for our church to feel a part. I pray things like this will become the norm for Connections and our people. We also welcomed back Kat Zietsma who had been serving in mission to India and New Zealand.
When we hit the summer season we launched into a study of the book of Philippians that we called "Breakout." This is going to become my routine for the foreseeable future- each summer we'll work through a whole book or section of the bible- just taking the whole thing apart piece by piece. What is so wonderful about going through whole books and sections of the bible is that it then that we really see how truly relevant the bible is to our time and our day. We just set aside our agenda and let God’s word guide and teach us.
In August we ran a series called "Into the Wild." I was blown away by the feedback I got from this series. We had four people commit/recommit their lives to Jesus. Plus, the band did the coolest cover of Hard Sun ever!
In the Fall we kicked things off with "Wiii Church." This is when we really seemed to get into the zone at Connections. Numbers came up, folks were getting involved, the family ministry was flourishing with Sarah DeVries at the helm, I put a renewed focus on our Media ministry, and we formally launched our Connection Group ministry. (Show Connection Group Slide)
More than 100 signed up as we started a semester approach to home-groups based on three guiding values: Common Purpose, Common Place, Common Possessions. Our purpose is Connections, our place is as neighbors in homes, and our life is to be shared together, even through caring for the material and physical needs of one another, in addiction to emotional and spiritual support. I could go on and on here, but suffice to say- we got off to a great start!
We also had our first Communion and Baptism service. No promises on what this will look like in the future, but for now, it's enough to see folks stepping forward and making this public profession of faith in Jesus and participation in His church.
All through October we went on the faith journey from: Petri(fied) to Justi(fied) to Sancti(fied) to Glori(fied). I thought it was super cool, maybe more than anyone else. Thanks for indulging my goofy ideas. At least we sported some cool t-shirts.
Our Game of Life series I got to make everyone uncomfortable as I talked about sex. Then I got to be uncomfortable as I talked about money. I already have plans to do a Game of Life series, Part 2 (there are just so many great games out there can we can use to dive into some great topics. Spoiler alert- Taboo is gonna make you all squirm!)
Finally, we ended 2008 with "The Advent Conspiracy." Worship Fully- Spend Less- Give More- Love All. Whatever our particular needs were, we hoped and prayed and planned for a great celebration of the incarnation of God, the birth of the Christ, Jesus. Last week I encouraged everyone to position yourselves to encounter God in 2009. To make the decision to do your part in making life intersect with God.
And as I look back on the past year, I am humbled and awed by all that God has done and how he has intersected with Connections. I am truly amazed
- • by all our volunteers have done,
- • by the worship the Music Teams draws us into,
- • by the love and care of our Family Ministry,
- • by the hospitality of our First Impression Team,
- • by the creativity of our Media guys,
- • by the faith of our Prayer Ministry,
- • by all of our Connection Group facilitators and hosts,
- • by the stories I hear about the love and support our folks extend to one-another and to our neighbors.
(I am also amazed at how many babies were born this past year. Good grief people, can’t you couples keep your pants on? I mean there are other options for things to do. You could watch a movie or play a board game or something.)
And more, I'm blown away to genuinely feel that we've only just begun. The first step was just getting started. Casting the vision, sharing a dream, seeing if anyone would want to get on board. The second step was getting this year under our belt. To see if anyone would care. If anyone would show up. If anyone would get involved. And you have.
Now, this morning, before anything else we do this year, I want to invite everyone here to renew your commitment in 2009. Connections started with a simple plan to take part in a very big mission. It’s a simple way of doing and being the church. It’s our way to taking part in a much bigger plan and mission, which is to join with God in what he’s doing in the world.
Our simple mission is our simple method. Connecting with God…with People…with the World. We want people to know that they can connect with God through a relationship with Jesus Christ. That in faith we believe that Jesus meets us where we are and takes us to himself so that, as the bible teaches, our lives are hidden in his. Our lives and brought into connection with Jesus.
We want people to connect with other people. When you put your life in Jesus, and when I put my life in Jesus, our lives are then joined together in the mystical union with Jesus. The bible even goes so far as to call us now brothers and sisters in Christ.
We want people in Jesus to then connect with the world. God created the world, loves the world, gave his life for the world, and has a plan to renew the world. God has not let the world go to hell in a hand basket, and is not letting the world go to hell. In fact it could be more the opposite- God is bring heaven to earth in the new Kingdom.
This is our mission and our simple plan. We invite people to join us in connecting with God in worship here on Sundays- what we are doing right now. We believe that gathering together in worship is not just a religious practice, but is a relational norm for the church. We believe there is a special spiritual dynamic in gathering together. We believe there is benefit and blessing to sing and pray together. We believe that God’s word, the bible, is to be openly taught and applied.
We believe that it is a reveled and essential human need, and spiritual need, to connect with one another. So we have created a structure in which we can connect in homes in groups with each other. We believe that something happens to our lives when we simple connect with others. Sometimes it’s dramatic, usually it’s not, but our need for human connection is every bit as essential as our need for oxygen and water.
Our simple plan then is to connect people to the world to share and grow together in this mission. People can join a ministry team. People can do things like bike across the country or go to India. And people can allow it to happen much more organically, and much more locally. We believe we are part of God’s redeeming mission to love the world when we shovel a neighbor’s driveway. When we say a kind thing or offer a act of service or open our eyes to the needs all around us- anything and everything done in love in the name of Jesus is part of living his mission in our world.
Today I invite you to join a Soul Revolution. A revolution of how we understand ourselves in the eyes of God, and in relation to God. For years perhaps you’ve heard this idea thrown around: Christianity is about a relationship, not a religion. We like the sounds of that, but what does it even mean? The very people, such as myself, who make this claim, seem to be living a very religious life. We go to church on Sunday. We join home groups. We read our bibles and pray regularly. We even give to the church a portion of our money. We speak about and hope for a relationship, but all we can seem to offer is a different religious package.
But where as religion offers a one-size-fits all plan for spiritual growth, relationship invites us to something completely unique- as unique as the individuals who comprise the relationship. I have three kids. I have a relationship with all three of my children. But each relationship, and our ways of relating, are completely different. My oldest daughter craves time with me to talk. I can take her out on a date and she can talk my ear off. The girl has an insatiable ability to talk. She’s highly intelligent and extremely verbal. Love her. I love being with her.
My middle child loves to do projects together. She has more artistic talent in her little finger than most people have in their whole body. She loves making things together. She loves giving gifts. She’ll work for hours making stuff, wrapping it up, giving it away. Just being with her as we make stuff is like heaven on earth to her.
My youngest, my boy, couldn’t be more different. He is so sweet it makes my heart melt. I watch him just hold onto his mom, he kisses his mom. He loves his mom so much and he tries so hard to help her. But when he sees me, he attacks. He jumps in my arms. He says let’s going biking, or skiing, or throw a ball, or bike down a ski hill while throwing things at each other. He wants to wrestle and laugh and play with his toys.
They are all my kids. They are all so me. And they are as unique as can be. And my relationship with them as their father is equally as unique. Imagine if I demanded they all relate to me the same way? Imagine if I could only relate to them in one way? I wouldn’t be a very good father, and we wouldn’t each have a very strong relationship.
But there are some threads which run through each relationship. They all want love from me, they all want time with me, they all want to do something for me. Each child needs my unconditional love. And each of us needs the unconditional love of God. Each needs time with me to express love and grow the relationship. And so each of us needs to find ways to spend time with God where by we can experience his love. Each child wants to do something for me, they each are trying to express their love to me. And so each of us needs to reflect back and express our love to God in ways that make sense and work for us.
This month I want us to get past our one-size-fits all religious practice and plan for spiritual growth. I want us to find the ways that we can love and be loved by God, the ways of spending time together with God that make sense to us. And the ways in which we can express our love for God.
So today, I invite us all to renew our commitment to this mission in 2009. Or if you are new to Connections, to journey with us and see if this mission, and if this community of people, isn’t one of the most awesome things you’ve every experienced. But I still ask you to commit to it, because you’ll never experience it standing on the sidelines. You’ll see it, you’ll hear it, and you can even get excited about it. And if you’re on the sidelines today, I’m so grateful. If you need more time on the sidelines, I understand, and that is fine. But if you are ready to jump into the game I invite you to our starting lineup!
Because I believe we are going to see some amazing things happen this coming year. I believe that God is going to do some things that we don’t even know how to ask for or imagine so that when He does, we can’t take any of the credit, and He will get all the glory.
And this I know- I can’t do it without you. Our church is no more than the people who put their lives in Jesus Christ, and who come together as Connections. Alone, I am a child of God, known and loved by God. And that’s an awesome thing. Alone, you are loved by God as well. But together, we are the church. And together, there is nothing we can’t do.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
The Game of LIFE: RISK
You might be able to say that all of our lives are a game of risk management. We might not crunch the numbers before we get a car, jump on a plane, or even just walk down the street, but we are really just navigating our lives with a constant assessment of risk management. When you pull out into traffic, you assess the risk. When you take something out of the fridge, and it looks a little questionable, but you’re hungry, so you still eat it, you assess the risk. You’re also a single university student. When you dive into a pool, ski down a hill, jump out of a plane, get on an amusement park ride, you are engaging in risk management.
But here’s the deal people:
OK, so what is my point in all this- if you want to play the odds and play it safe in this life you need to get away from the people sitting next to you, you need to get out of your house, you need to NOT get into you car, but get onto a plane, you need to jump out of the plane, you need to land in shark infested waters, swim around with them for a while, climb a mountain, then move to Norway, the safest country in the world! I hope you all like pickled herring and those sweaters with weird claps in the front.
OK, what's my REAL point in all this- good luck if you want to eliminate all risk from your life. It can’t be done, and it’s no way to live. And I want to talk to you about embracing and living a life of risk. For too long the Christian life has been stereo typed and marginalized as a lame, boring, dull and lifeless monotony. The characteristic Christian is, in many circles, someone old, stuck-up and stodgy. Someone more concerned about the things they don’t do, than the things they do. More concerned about the things other people do than who they are. More tied up into religious practice and legalism, that relationships and abundant life.
And you know what, while all this might be true for many, I’m sick of it. Because the God who called me to life, the Lord I follow, is a God who risks loving us and inviting us into a relationship with himself. The life my Lord calls me to is a life of radical abandonment risk. You can’t get away from this reality- the real life of loving and serving God is one of the most awesome Risks you’ll ever take. In fact, it is the most awesome risk you or anyone else could ever take.
Our God is a God of RISK! In fact, you can hardly turn a page in the bible without seeing God taking a risk and God calling people to take a risk. In the beginning God took the first giant step of risk- he made people in his own image- he made us. And when he made us as creatures who bear His image, he risked himself, and he risked a relationship with people who could love Him back, or who could turn away. And the bible starts with the story of that risk, and the consequences of it- we did turn our back on a relationship with God. But ever since that moment God has risked opening his life to us, risked entrusting his mission to us, risked using broken vessels like us. Yes he is sovereign, yes he is in control, yes he holds the universe in his hands and knows the plans he has for us- but as this story of God unfolds for us it is a story of awesome and amazing Risk.
God risked calling a man named Abram to start this plan of redemption. God asked him to take a risk- to set out from the land he knew, old and childless as he was, with a promise- from you with come a nation, from this nation and from your line, will come the savior of the world. But you have to take a risk- you have to get up, leave it all, and go. No other instructions, not 1 year, five year, 20 year plan- just go with the promise. And he choose to take the risk.
Moses took a risk and he stood up to Pharaoh and demanded that he let his people go. The people took a risk and they followed Moses, they left Egypt, the crossed the Red Sea and ventured into the desert. The people learned to risk trust and faith in God. They failed repeatedly, but God kept calling them back to the risky life of faith.
David risked stepping up to a giant named Goliath. When everyone else backed down, this boy risked his life, and risked faith in God’s strength. David defeated the giant, became king of Israel, and continued a life of risk for God, stumbling many times along the way. But each time he got up, turned back to God, and went forward risking faith.
God risked coming to a young girl named Mary, a story we’ll talk much more about in December, and she risked saying yes to God. She risked her marriage, her life, everything, to honor God. Joseph risked faith and stayed with Mary, and married her, and believed in the promise of God.
Jesus’ cousin John risked standing up to the religious and political establishment. He preached a message of repentance and radical love. He preached to the people and called them to take the ultimate risk of baptism- to be washed clean by his forgiveness, to stand in new life in God, and to then give that new life over completely to God to be used by Him to whatever he would call them to.
Jesus risked everything. Jesus risked becoming one of us, become flesh and blood. Jesus risked putting his life in the hands of Mary and Joseph as a baby. Jesus grew up and risked his mission in the world. He risked being baptized himself to inaugurate his public ministry. He risked going out into the desert to be tempted, but came out stronger after on the other side. He risked calling others to follow him. He called ordinary men. Actually, he called less than ordinary men. He called deeply flawed men, men with history, with a past. He risked seeing something more in them. He risked seeing himself in them. He risked seeing them take his mission to the very ends of the earth.
In Luke chapter 5 Jesus is well into his public ministry. He has actually meet many of the will-be disciples at this point. He has miraculously healed the sick, thrown out demons and taught his message that the Kingdom of God was at hand in him. He had a following, but he did not yet have followers- those who would risk everything for him. There’s always a difference there. Many people many have a following. They might draw a crowd and have some fair-weather fans. But few have followers- few will be followers. But these men were about to lead the way in becoming followers of Jesus.
You see, it had been maybe a much as a year or more since Jesus first meet Simon Peter, his brother Andrew, and the other fishermen, James and John. They had met Jesus, talked with him, listened to him, and seen what he has done. In fact, the previous chapter we learn that Simon’s mother in law was on her deathbed, but Jesus healed her. So Simon is probably pretty upset with Jesus.
Anyways, a huge crowd is ready to listen to Jesus. He’s got an in with Simon so he got into one of his boats and asked him to push just off shore. It sounds like a pretty cool little floating pulpit. Then he taught. Then he asks Simon to push out into the deep water . What’s he going to do at this moment? What would you do? Feel the tension in the air as the command hangs. He’s worked all night. He knows how to fish, and he knows there are no fish to catch.
Option one- blow the question off. Jesus, your a preacher. I’m a fisherman. Let’s both stick with what we know, OK. The result- life goes on as normal. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
How often do we respond to the call of Jesus in the same way? Option one- we blow it off. Because Jesus command is not too difficult o understand. Give your life to me. Believe in me. Follow me. Jesus, your demands are too hard, too unrealistic, too, well, demanding. So forget it. Let’s just keep our relationship the way it is. You can stay on the boat with me, in fact, I kind of like having you in the boat with me. You get to tag along with my life and do the things I’m doing. How fun! But here’s the deal Jesus, I’m going about my business. I’m going to stick close to shore. Jesus, you can get onboard with my marriage, but I’m going to about things my way. You can come with me to work, but I have my game plan already. I’m going to stay close to the shore. The result- nothing changes, or at least not anything that takes us deeper into the waters of faith.
Option two- make up an excuse. You know Jesus, I really would love to do a little more fishing with you today, but I have some errands to run, and I’m a bit tired now and really should get some rest, but let’s schedule this for another time, OK, real soon I promise. The result- life goes on as normal. No risk, no reward.
We often respond to Jesus this way to. Jesus, what you are asking is a RISK, and while that rish appeals to me, it doesn’t fit in with my plans for my life right now. So let’s put this off a bit. Let me have my fun now at this time and stage. Then I’ll follow you. If Simon said, hey, let’s wait and hour, let me at least go get some breakfast, I believe he would have missed the moment. He would have missed the opportunity to leap, and he would have missed the opportunity to be part of a miracle. The result- nothing changes, and Jesus goes on to a different boat. The real shame here is that so many put off following Jesus because they think it’s just going to be more work, and not reward. That the real reason we don’t risk acting on what Jesus asks us to do.
Option three- take a risk. Maybe that’s what Jesus was preaching on as he taught in Simon’s boat. But whatever was being said before, he stops and says, “Master, we’ve fished all night and haven’t caught a thing…but because you say so.”
I love what Simon says here. He states things as they really are. First, he acknowledges Jesus as Master. He had some sense of who he was and is. Then he reminds Jesus of the way things really were. We’ve fished all night and there’s nothing out there to catch. Really this isn’t an issue of saying, well maybe Jesus knows something about fishing that we don’t know. This was their job! They knew where to go and when to go. It wasn’t even the right time to fish anymore. They were all sleeping, like Simon wanted to be doing! Then he puts the responsibility entirely onto Jesus. But because you say so, I will let down the nets. That’s perfect. Jesus, I want you to know that I believe you are the Master. I also want you to know what I’ve tried to do. Now, if I’m hearing you correctly, I’m going to do this. I’m going to take a risk. I’m not doing this for myself- I’m doing this completely out of obedience to what you’ve asked.
I don’t think Jesus really asks anything more of us. It’s really rather unremarkable. Throw out your nets. But do it now. They’ve done it a thousand times before. It’s not like the actual act of obedience was anything new. It was simply the context and the timing. Out of faith, out of obedience, listen to what I tell you to do now, and see what happens. And that’s how Jesus works with all his followers. A life of great risk for God often starts with an act of simple obedience. Of doing something completely un-remarkable and within our means. He asks for obedience. Then he tells us to leave the results up to him.
Simon puts the boat out, he throws out his nets, and they are so filled with fish the nets begin to break. He calls his buddies to help. They all fished all night so they are all amazed. They come to shore and Simon says, “Jesus I will always follow and obey.” No, what does he say, “Jesus, go away from me. I am a sinful man.” There is the immediate recognition here of something few people get- when we risk following Jesus it is going to mess up our lives in wonderful ways. Simon here gets it- I am standing before God. And that scares the dickens out of me.
Jesus says to him, “Don’t be afraid. From now on you will catch men.” So they pulled their boats to shore. Left everything, and followed him. After the greatest haul of their fishing lives they leave it all behind. You know what I would have done, I may have been so dumb that I would have been totally focused on the fish. But Jesus, we need to gather these fish and get them to market. We are going to make a killing. Hey, I’ll even give you 10% for your ministry.
Which would of course been the stupidest thing in the world to do because at this moment Simon has the realization, if Jesus can bring in a catch like this, what else can he do? Or really, is there anything he can’t do? And if there isn’t anything he can’t do, I’m going to keep listening to him. I’m going to keep taking this risk of trusting him. Because if he told me I would catch fish, and I did; then if he tells me I’m going to catch men, then I will.
Folks, there is nothing, nothing else in the world like the Risk of following Jesus. Like the risk of stepping out in faith, of doing what God tells us to do, simple or dramatic, and trusting him with the results. Maybe, like Simon and these guys, you’ve heard about Jesus for a long time. You been around his teaching, you been around while things are happening in the church and in other peoples lives. You been on the edge working on your nets, but now is the time to push off into deep water. Now is the time to take a RISK and experience what it’s like to really trust in Jesus with your life. But if you here, and this is the first time you’ve really heard about this Jesus, I simply want to encourage you not to wait any longer. Don’t let another year pass by without risking faith. Don’t let another month, week or day. It’s Risk IT!
In CS Lewis’ classic "The Lion, The Witch and the Warecrobe," there is a wonderful scene in the beginning when Lucy meets Mr. Tumnus the fawn. He begins to describe the great lion, and Lucy, being a little girl, is frightened. She asks, is he safe? And Mr. Tumnus, in one of theologies greatest insights to God says, “Oh no, he is not safe. But he is good!”
Friends, I invite you to embrace a life of risk in Jesus Christ. He is not safe, but he is good. Following him is not safe, but it is good. It is so good! He is going to push you and stretch you and challenge you to live a life of rish, the life you were meant to life. It won’t be safe, it will involve risk, but it will be good.
You will risk living a life of purpose for God- a life of calling and not of trivial pursuits. You will risk obeying his commands to love God, and love neighbor, and love yourself. You will risk trusting God’s plan for your relationships and marriage, your children and all your family. You will risk saying no to the cultures call to play with sex like a fun little game, and risk saying yes to God’s awesome plan to bless men and women, to give us pleasure, to give us children, to give us a bond that lasts for a lifetime. You will have to risk living generously and not worshipping your money. You will risk giving to the needy, giving to the point where you make sacrifices, giving and trusting that God will work things out. You will be called to risk letting go of revenge, and offering forgiveness, just as in Christ God has forgiven you.
Folks, don’t let a life of Risk pass you by. Push out into deep waters with Jesus, throw down you nets, throw down you life, and see what he will do with you. Risk sharing his love with a coworker this Christmas. Risk taking a gift to a neighbor. Risk making amends with an estranged family member. Risk giving generously to your family this year in resources, and time, and yourself. Risk laying it all down before Him.
Shortly after this calling of Simon, Jesus takes another risk with the disciples. He risks sending them out to minister in His name. It’s always a risk t give someone permission to invoke your name. He sends them out will many helpful instructions, and warning. And he sends them out with this promise among others, “
Jesus tells us that the one who spends his or her whole life trying to control the board and contain the risk will be the one, in the end, to lose the most. But the one who freely loses his or her life for Jesus will find it.
Today I invite you to take a risk, the biggest risk, the greatest risk of all- to throw down the safety net of your life to Jesus. Lose your life for Him, and discover how good he really is!
But here’s the deal people:
- You are more likely to drown at home in the bathtub than in a pool or ocean, and way more like to die in your tub than be attacked by a shark.
- You are more likely to be electrocuted in your home than hit by lightening.
- You are more likely to fall down your steps and die than off a cliff and die.
- You are more likely to be killed by a kitchen appliance than by a weapon.
- You’re morel likely to die in a plane that is landing, than by parachuting out of the plane.
- You are more likely to die in your car than walking.
- You are more likely to be killed by almost any other thing in the world- by the flu, by accidental poisoning, by a hernia (And I’ve had three hernia operations!)- than you are to be killed by a terrorist.
OK, so what is my point in all this- if you want to play the odds and play it safe in this life you need to get away from the people sitting next to you, you need to get out of your house, you need to NOT get into you car, but get onto a plane, you need to jump out of the plane, you need to land in shark infested waters, swim around with them for a while, climb a mountain, then move to Norway, the safest country in the world! I hope you all like pickled herring and those sweaters with weird claps in the front.
OK, what's my REAL point in all this- good luck if you want to eliminate all risk from your life. It can’t be done, and it’s no way to live. And I want to talk to you about embracing and living a life of risk. For too long the Christian life has been stereo typed and marginalized as a lame, boring, dull and lifeless monotony. The characteristic Christian is, in many circles, someone old, stuck-up and stodgy. Someone more concerned about the things they don’t do, than the things they do. More concerned about the things other people do than who they are. More tied up into religious practice and legalism, that relationships and abundant life.
And you know what, while all this might be true for many, I’m sick of it. Because the God who called me to life, the Lord I follow, is a God who risks loving us and inviting us into a relationship with himself. The life my Lord calls me to is a life of radical abandonment risk. You can’t get away from this reality- the real life of loving and serving God is one of the most awesome Risks you’ll ever take. In fact, it is the most awesome risk you or anyone else could ever take.
Our God is a God of RISK! In fact, you can hardly turn a page in the bible without seeing God taking a risk and God calling people to take a risk. In the beginning God took the first giant step of risk- he made people in his own image- he made us. And when he made us as creatures who bear His image, he risked himself, and he risked a relationship with people who could love Him back, or who could turn away. And the bible starts with the story of that risk, and the consequences of it- we did turn our back on a relationship with God. But ever since that moment God has risked opening his life to us, risked entrusting his mission to us, risked using broken vessels like us. Yes he is sovereign, yes he is in control, yes he holds the universe in his hands and knows the plans he has for us- but as this story of God unfolds for us it is a story of awesome and amazing Risk.
God risked calling a man named Abram to start this plan of redemption. God asked him to take a risk- to set out from the land he knew, old and childless as he was, with a promise- from you with come a nation, from this nation and from your line, will come the savior of the world. But you have to take a risk- you have to get up, leave it all, and go. No other instructions, not 1 year, five year, 20 year plan- just go with the promise. And he choose to take the risk.
Moses took a risk and he stood up to Pharaoh and demanded that he let his people go. The people took a risk and they followed Moses, they left Egypt, the crossed the Red Sea and ventured into the desert. The people learned to risk trust and faith in God. They failed repeatedly, but God kept calling them back to the risky life of faith.
David risked stepping up to a giant named Goliath. When everyone else backed down, this boy risked his life, and risked faith in God’s strength. David defeated the giant, became king of Israel, and continued a life of risk for God, stumbling many times along the way. But each time he got up, turned back to God, and went forward risking faith.
God risked coming to a young girl named Mary, a story we’ll talk much more about in December, and she risked saying yes to God. She risked her marriage, her life, everything, to honor God. Joseph risked faith and stayed with Mary, and married her, and believed in the promise of God.
Jesus’ cousin John risked standing up to the religious and political establishment. He preached a message of repentance and radical love. He preached to the people and called them to take the ultimate risk of baptism- to be washed clean by his forgiveness, to stand in new life in God, and to then give that new life over completely to God to be used by Him to whatever he would call them to.
Jesus risked everything. Jesus risked becoming one of us, become flesh and blood. Jesus risked putting his life in the hands of Mary and Joseph as a baby. Jesus grew up and risked his mission in the world. He risked being baptized himself to inaugurate his public ministry. He risked going out into the desert to be tempted, but came out stronger after on the other side. He risked calling others to follow him. He called ordinary men. Actually, he called less than ordinary men. He called deeply flawed men, men with history, with a past. He risked seeing something more in them. He risked seeing himself in them. He risked seeing them take his mission to the very ends of the earth.
In Luke chapter 5 Jesus is well into his public ministry. He has actually meet many of the will-be disciples at this point. He has miraculously healed the sick, thrown out demons and taught his message that the Kingdom of God was at hand in him. He had a following, but he did not yet have followers- those who would risk everything for him. There’s always a difference there. Many people many have a following. They might draw a crowd and have some fair-weather fans. But few have followers- few will be followers. But these men were about to lead the way in becoming followers of Jesus.
One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, with the people crowding around him and listening to the word of God, 2he saw at the water's edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. 3He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat.
4When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, "Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch."
5Simon answered, "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets."
6When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. 7So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.
8When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus' knees and said, "Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!" 9For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, 10and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon's partners.
Then Jesus said to Simon, "Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men." 11So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.
You see, it had been maybe a much as a year or more since Jesus first meet Simon Peter, his brother Andrew, and the other fishermen, James and John. They had met Jesus, talked with him, listened to him, and seen what he has done. In fact, the previous chapter we learn that Simon’s mother in law was on her deathbed, but Jesus healed her. So Simon is probably pretty upset with Jesus.
Anyways, a huge crowd is ready to listen to Jesus. He’s got an in with Simon so he got into one of his boats and asked him to push just off shore. It sounds like a pretty cool little floating pulpit. Then he taught. Then he asks Simon to push out into the deep water . What’s he going to do at this moment? What would you do? Feel the tension in the air as the command hangs. He’s worked all night. He knows how to fish, and he knows there are no fish to catch.
Option one- blow the question off. Jesus, your a preacher. I’m a fisherman. Let’s both stick with what we know, OK. The result- life goes on as normal. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
How often do we respond to the call of Jesus in the same way? Option one- we blow it off. Because Jesus command is not too difficult o understand. Give your life to me. Believe in me. Follow me. Jesus, your demands are too hard, too unrealistic, too, well, demanding. So forget it. Let’s just keep our relationship the way it is. You can stay on the boat with me, in fact, I kind of like having you in the boat with me. You get to tag along with my life and do the things I’m doing. How fun! But here’s the deal Jesus, I’m going about my business. I’m going to stick close to shore. Jesus, you can get onboard with my marriage, but I’m going to about things my way. You can come with me to work, but I have my game plan already. I’m going to stay close to the shore. The result- nothing changes, or at least not anything that takes us deeper into the waters of faith.
Option two- make up an excuse. You know Jesus, I really would love to do a little more fishing with you today, but I have some errands to run, and I’m a bit tired now and really should get some rest, but let’s schedule this for another time, OK, real soon I promise. The result- life goes on as normal. No risk, no reward.
We often respond to Jesus this way to. Jesus, what you are asking is a RISK, and while that rish appeals to me, it doesn’t fit in with my plans for my life right now. So let’s put this off a bit. Let me have my fun now at this time and stage. Then I’ll follow you. If Simon said, hey, let’s wait and hour, let me at least go get some breakfast, I believe he would have missed the moment. He would have missed the opportunity to leap, and he would have missed the opportunity to be part of a miracle. The result- nothing changes, and Jesus goes on to a different boat. The real shame here is that so many put off following Jesus because they think it’s just going to be more work, and not reward. That the real reason we don’t risk acting on what Jesus asks us to do.
Option three- take a risk. Maybe that’s what Jesus was preaching on as he taught in Simon’s boat. But whatever was being said before, he stops and says, “Master, we’ve fished all night and haven’t caught a thing…but because you say so.”
I love what Simon says here. He states things as they really are. First, he acknowledges Jesus as Master. He had some sense of who he was and is. Then he reminds Jesus of the way things really were. We’ve fished all night and there’s nothing out there to catch. Really this isn’t an issue of saying, well maybe Jesus knows something about fishing that we don’t know. This was their job! They knew where to go and when to go. It wasn’t even the right time to fish anymore. They were all sleeping, like Simon wanted to be doing! Then he puts the responsibility entirely onto Jesus. But because you say so, I will let down the nets. That’s perfect. Jesus, I want you to know that I believe you are the Master. I also want you to know what I’ve tried to do. Now, if I’m hearing you correctly, I’m going to do this. I’m going to take a risk. I’m not doing this for myself- I’m doing this completely out of obedience to what you’ve asked.
I don’t think Jesus really asks anything more of us. It’s really rather unremarkable. Throw out your nets. But do it now. They’ve done it a thousand times before. It’s not like the actual act of obedience was anything new. It was simply the context and the timing. Out of faith, out of obedience, listen to what I tell you to do now, and see what happens. And that’s how Jesus works with all his followers. A life of great risk for God often starts with an act of simple obedience. Of doing something completely un-remarkable and within our means. He asks for obedience. Then he tells us to leave the results up to him.
Simon puts the boat out, he throws out his nets, and they are so filled with fish the nets begin to break. He calls his buddies to help. They all fished all night so they are all amazed. They come to shore and Simon says, “Jesus I will always follow and obey.” No, what does he say, “Jesus, go away from me. I am a sinful man.” There is the immediate recognition here of something few people get- when we risk following Jesus it is going to mess up our lives in wonderful ways. Simon here gets it- I am standing before God. And that scares the dickens out of me.
Jesus says to him, “Don’t be afraid. From now on you will catch men.” So they pulled their boats to shore. Left everything, and followed him. After the greatest haul of their fishing lives they leave it all behind. You know what I would have done, I may have been so dumb that I would have been totally focused on the fish. But Jesus, we need to gather these fish and get them to market. We are going to make a killing. Hey, I’ll even give you 10% for your ministry.
Which would of course been the stupidest thing in the world to do because at this moment Simon has the realization, if Jesus can bring in a catch like this, what else can he do? Or really, is there anything he can’t do? And if there isn’t anything he can’t do, I’m going to keep listening to him. I’m going to keep taking this risk of trusting him. Because if he told me I would catch fish, and I did; then if he tells me I’m going to catch men, then I will.
Folks, there is nothing, nothing else in the world like the Risk of following Jesus. Like the risk of stepping out in faith, of doing what God tells us to do, simple or dramatic, and trusting him with the results. Maybe, like Simon and these guys, you’ve heard about Jesus for a long time. You been around his teaching, you been around while things are happening in the church and in other peoples lives. You been on the edge working on your nets, but now is the time to push off into deep water. Now is the time to take a RISK and experience what it’s like to really trust in Jesus with your life. But if you here, and this is the first time you’ve really heard about this Jesus, I simply want to encourage you not to wait any longer. Don’t let another year pass by without risking faith. Don’t let another month, week or day. It’s Risk IT!
In CS Lewis’ classic "The Lion, The Witch and the Warecrobe," there is a wonderful scene in the beginning when Lucy meets Mr. Tumnus the fawn. He begins to describe the great lion, and Lucy, being a little girl, is frightened. She asks, is he safe? And Mr. Tumnus, in one of theologies greatest insights to God says, “Oh no, he is not safe. But he is good!”
Friends, I invite you to embrace a life of risk in Jesus Christ. He is not safe, but he is good. Following him is not safe, but it is good. It is so good! He is going to push you and stretch you and challenge you to live a life of rish, the life you were meant to life. It won’t be safe, it will involve risk, but it will be good.
You will risk living a life of purpose for God- a life of calling and not of trivial pursuits. You will risk obeying his commands to love God, and love neighbor, and love yourself. You will risk trusting God’s plan for your relationships and marriage, your children and all your family. You will risk saying no to the cultures call to play with sex like a fun little game, and risk saying yes to God’s awesome plan to bless men and women, to give us pleasure, to give us children, to give us a bond that lasts for a lifetime. You will have to risk living generously and not worshipping your money. You will risk giving to the needy, giving to the point where you make sacrifices, giving and trusting that God will work things out. You will be called to risk letting go of revenge, and offering forgiveness, just as in Christ God has forgiven you.
Folks, don’t let a life of Risk pass you by. Push out into deep waters with Jesus, throw down you nets, throw down you life, and see what he will do with you. Risk sharing his love with a coworker this Christmas. Risk taking a gift to a neighbor. Risk making amends with an estranged family member. Risk giving generously to your family this year in resources, and time, and yourself. Risk laying it all down before Him.
Shortly after this calling of Simon, Jesus takes another risk with the disciples. He risks sending them out to minister in His name. It’s always a risk t give someone permission to invoke your name. He sends them out will many helpful instructions, and warning. And he sends them out with this promise among others, “
Whoever finds his life will lose it. And whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 10:39Just when you think you’ve gotten a hold of your life. Whn you think you’ve eliminated all the risk, all the chance, all the variables, guess what- the game is over. You can try to eliminate all the risk you want by in the end the game ends.
Jesus tells us that the one who spends his or her whole life trying to control the board and contain the risk will be the one, in the end, to lose the most. But the one who freely loses his or her life for Jesus will find it.
Today I invite you to take a risk, the biggest risk, the greatest risk of all- to throw down the safety net of your life to Jesus. Lose your life for Him, and discover how good he really is!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Sorry: The Game of Sweet Revenge
November 23, 2008
Games nearly always involve a winner and a loser. The game is going somewhere and in the end one person or team wins, and others lose. To the winner goes the spoils, the celebrity, the fame, the power, the money, the glory. In the 70’s they tried to create games where nobody would win or lose. (In the 70’s they also created disco, so we know that not all ideas from the 70’s are good ones.) The New Games, which emphasized the play rather than the conclusion, never really caught on outside of freshmen year orientation.
This is the reality of games. We try to play against the other teams strengths and weaknesses. We plot, plan and prepare. And we know this is the reality of how it’s gonna go down- winner and loser.
So I have to commend the makers of Sorry. Instead of adopting the, nobody wins, nobody loses dream of the 70’s, they decided to fully embrace this reality of competition. The game is based on one person leveraging themselves against the others. One player advances by sending others players back to the beginning. You advance at their expense. It’s been a while since I played the game, but it always opened the door for some very interesting interactions. At first, one would timidly send a player back to start, usually accompanied by the title- sorry! A few minutes in we forget the pleasantries. A few more minutes in, we are going for the jugular- we revel in sending someone back to square one. We knock their piece over in disgust. We toss them off the board, we laugh in their face. Our opponents are reduced to tears. There is weeping and gnashing and rending of garments. We smugly say, don’t like, then quit. You’re gonna lose either way!
Then the game ends and we move on, right? WRONG! Kids revel in defeating their parents. Husbands and wives go to bed without speaking to each other. One reveling in the win, and the other, like the title says, begins to plot their sweet revenge. They’ll flush the toilet when they are in the shower. They’ll make sure the others favorite cereal is all gone. They’ll be late, or make them late for an important meeting. They’ll not hang up their coat because they know it drives the other crazy.
We’ve all been beaten and burned in life. And we’ve all allowed our minds to travel down this path of revenge, ruminating, plotting, preparing for our sweet revenge. Some of us have not just let our minds go down that path, we started to walk it. We actually start to put these thoughts and plans into action. What’s the old expression, Revenge is a dish served best cold.
Oh sweet revenge! Something about this game calls to some of us. In fact, for some of us, this is no game. This is our life. This is our passion. We become consumed with the desire, the dream, the hope, of revenge.
Author John Ortberg calls it the law of Lamech. In Genesis a man named Lamech is wronged. It is a genuine wrong. Lamech response isn’t just to hurt back, his response is ultimate revenge- murder. But not only that, he makes a vow- I will repay anyone who hurts me 77 times over. And eye for an eye- not good enough. Child’s play. 77 times over I will hurt you for every hurt you inflict on me.
Do any of you have any great revenge stories? I mean a really great revenge story? Did you ever read or see the Count of Monte Cristo? What a great revenge story. Edmond Dantes is betrayed by a trusted friend who has him set up and imprisoned. He takes Edmonds, job, his fiancé, his freedom, his life. For thirteen years Edmond rots in a jail and is ready to take his own life by starvation. He befriends an old man tunneling his way out who ends up teaching Edmond about books, politics, chemistry, art and war. As the plot thickens he reveals the secret of a lost fortune to Edmond, and upon his escape, Edmond claims this fortune and begins to follow his new calling in life- revenge. As the story progresses Edmund is consumed by his desire for revenge, he loses sight of who has betrayed him, and who he can count on. The lives of those he loves becomes intertwined with those he hates. Instead of winning back the love of his life he is on a path to destroy. More and more he realizes that all his fortune, fame and power means nothing. More and more he begins to see that this path of vengeance is eating away at his soul… Wait, that’s not a great revenge story. It ends up being a story about how revenge ends up killing more of the one seeking it, than the one being sought.
There has got to be some great story about revenge, where somebody wrongs someone else, that person plots and plots and spends a lifetime time conspiring the others demise, they exact some sweet revenge, and then it’s everything they hoped it would be. The wrong against them is magically lifted, the years they spent consumed by the desire for revenge were all worth it, and the revenge brings them the peace and purpose and fulfillment they were looking for all along. There has got so be some story like that?
Or at least, that’s what we keep telling ourselves. And many of us must keep telling ourselves this because many people have spent the better part of their life seeking and plotting revenge for a wrong committed against them, ever believing that somehow it will be so sweet and will heal our wounds.
But you see, even Hollywood has figured out what so many miss- there really is no such thing as sweet revenge. You see, there really are no great revenge stories are there. I mean, there are great stories. But there are no really truly great REVENGE stories, because there are never really and winners in the game of revenge. But still, we keep harboring fantasies and plans for sweet revenge. “I’ll make them pay” is the thought, the hope, the sickness that keeps us going.
But all the while, the game is killing us. Fredrick Beuchner wrote
You see, this game is a little different. The only way to win this game is to refuse to play. You see, there really is no right way to play the game of sweet revenge. Sex, we play that game- by the rules. Money, great game to play by the rules. Revenge, and all its groupies- bitterness, resentment, anger- we don’t play this game. This is where we walk away from the board. We don’t even entertain thoughts of playing this one, because it can only lead to our self-destruction. It will consume us until all that is left is the lifeless skeleton of our remains.
Some of you have been playing this game for a long time. For days, weeks, years, whole seasons of your life. We know what it’s like to carry anger.
The bible always talks about this stuff in a debt/debtor relationship. Or they are defined as “trespasses” against us. Someone robs us of our childhood. They take our marriage. They steal our idea. They destroy our reputation. The most nature response is resentment, is anger, is revenge. They owe you and you must make them pay. You want to get even. They took something from you and you need to make amends. They own you and you must make them pay 77 times over! And you have been carrying that desire, that resentment, that hope for revenge with you for a lifetime.
And it’s eating you alive. And you need to get rid of it.
Ephesians 4 The writer tells us, "in your anger do not sin." It’s OK to be angry. It’s normal to get angry. It would be weird to not get angry. You would have to be an emotional cold fish! In fact, it’s normal to get angry because in the world bad things, wrong things, awful things are going to happen to us. Things that are not right- unjust, unfair, awful and wrong things. But there is one thing worse- to then take that anger, and let it grow. In your anger do not sin. Inyour anger, do;t take that emotion and use it as a spring board to say something you can never take back. To do something that you are going to regret. Or, to use that and to start down a very very dark path in life. A path of seeking payback, or revenge and retribution.
He writes do not let the sun do down while you are angry. This was a common saying of the time, and it still is. It has worked it way into our collective marriage advice- well what ever you do, don’t go to bed angry. You have to work it out. And it’s great advice. Because the worst thing you can do is to take that anger and carry it into the next day. And you’ve probably done that if you’re married. You took that anger into the next day, and you were much less inclined to get up and make the coffee. You happened to forget to kiss her good bye and say I love you. You didn’t call on the way home to see if you could pick anything up. In fact, you were late getting home, but that doesn’t matter because she wasn’t making you dinner anyways because she is WAAAAY better at being angry than you. Yeah, I said that- hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Brothers, you do not want to get into a revenge match with a woman because they will beat you every time. They will out smart, out last, out play you every time.
Don’t let the sun go down on your anger. Don’t carry that emotion into he next day, because when it does, it gets a foothold in your heart. It’s a hold, and the long it’s there, the more comfortable it will feel.. The longer it is there, the more at home it’s gonna be. The longer it is there, the more is is gonna just become a part of the scenery of you life. It gets in there, and it settles down. And the longer it is there, the harder it will be to get rid of. The harder its gonna be to even know why it’s there, or how it’s there, or what happened in the first place. Have you been so mad at someone for so long, that you can’t even remember why you were mad? "Honey, what were we fighting about last week?" "I don’t know, but I’m still mad." "Well so am I."
When you start carrying that anger, that revenge, around with you, it gets in there, it’s hard to get rid of, and it starts spilling out into everything and everyone! Soon, you are going to find yourself in a whole new age and stage and place in life. But that anger, that revenge, is going to be so interwoven into your life, you won’t see it anymore, but I’m telling you, the people around you do. You’ll take that anger from your childhood, and bring into your first marriage. You’ll take that anger from your first marriage, and you’ll take it into your second marriage. You’ll take that anger from work, and you’ll take it out on your wife. You’ll take that anger at your parents, and you’ll seek revenge on you kids.
Don’t let the sun set on your anger, don’t carry it into the next season of your life, don’t carry it into the next relationship, the next job, into your relationship with your kids. Don’t carry it with you any longer. Deal with it. How? It’s so simple you won’t like the answer. It’s so simple a child can understand it. It so simple, but that why we can all do it. Get rid of it. Yeap, that simple. Verse 31, get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Ger rid of it. But George, you don’t understand. I was hurt, I was wronged. I know you were- get rid of it. But George, it’s not fair what they did. I know it wasn’t. I want to make them pay. I know you do. I want revenge. I know you do- now get rid of it. But George, if I told you want happened, you would be enraged. I know I would. You could tell me stories that would make my blood boil. I’ve heard stories that make me sick. I’ve heard of things that parents have done that make me want to kill them. That make me furious. I’ve heard of things spouses have done that make me want to go up to that guy and punch them right in their big stupid smug face. I’ve heard stories of injustice that make me want to scream. And after all the emotion, and frustration and discussion- get rid of it.
You not hurting them any more. You only hurting yourself, and now your hurting everyone else that comes in touch with your life. So it’s time to get rid of it. You’re going through life and you realize there is a small lump, or a persistent cough, or a spot that just doesn’t look right. You go to the doctor. The worst possible of news comes back. It’s not nothing, and it’s not benign. It’s cancer. What do you say, what’s the first think that goes through your head, the first things you ask- well doctor, what are we gonna do to get rid of it. Yeah, you want to find out what it is, where it is, how you got it. You want to understand it- but all of that is so that you can get rid of it. You’re not like. Oh, I think we need to use me as a test subject. Let’s seek to study and embrace this cancer and let it go untreated so that we understand the cancer and analyze that cancer, and see how the cancer will slowly kill me. NO- you want to get rid of the cancer. That’s the most important thing, that’s the only thing. Get rid of it- whatever it takes. IF it takes surgery, cut it out. If it takes putting chemicals into my body that will half kill me, but fully kill that cancer, do it. It will be worth the pain, the agnony, losing my hair, suffering greatly. I will subject myself to that because if I don’t I know something even worse is going to happen- it is going to kill me. SO more than anything else, now matter what it takes, no matter what the cost- get rid of it!
Someone of us have stuff eating us alive from the inside out. It has been growing in our heart and in our soul and it has grown tentacles that have reached into every part of our lives- our relationships, our work, our marriage, our parenting, even now into our kids lives as we see our anger not just lashing out that them, be wee see them even taking on our anger and rage and resentment and revenge. You have to get rid of it!
It’s time to forgive. As Christ has forgiven you! It’s time to forgive. The bible isn’t just good therapy and advice, the bible is good theology. The bible always brings it back to God. And this is what take sit a step further than we every could on our own. We model our forgiveness after the God who invented forgiveness. Because when we compare our lives to Jesus, well there is no comparison. God, who was perfect, who is perfect, forgives us of every thought, every deed, every angry, bitter hateful spiteful word, of everything. He clears the slate, he forgives us completely, and brings us into a relationship with him, and get gets on with life with us. He doesn’t let the sun set on his anger. He has already dealt with it. And he says I’m here to help you deal with it as well- get rid of it. Give it to me.
Name it- who do you want revenge on?
Identify it- why do you want revenge on them?
Then finally- get rid of it! Walk away from it. Forgive as you have been forgiven!
Because the thing is, we can never get back those things that are taken from us. We can never right the wrongs committed against us. When you childhood is stolen, you can’t get it back. When your first marriage is destroyed, you can’t get it back. When your reputation is damaged, you can undo the damage. And there are so many of us seeking revenge on people or for things that we can never go back to. You parents are dead. Highschool is over. Your X has moved on. For so many of the things we want revenge on, it’s not even really an option, is it?
So GET RID IF IT!
Games nearly always involve a winner and a loser. The game is going somewhere and in the end one person or team wins, and others lose. To the winner goes the spoils, the celebrity, the fame, the power, the money, the glory. In the 70’s they tried to create games where nobody would win or lose. (In the 70’s they also created disco, so we know that not all ideas from the 70’s are good ones.) The New Games, which emphasized the play rather than the conclusion, never really caught on outside of freshmen year orientation.
This is the reality of games. We try to play against the other teams strengths and weaknesses. We plot, plan and prepare. And we know this is the reality of how it’s gonna go down- winner and loser.
So I have to commend the makers of Sorry. Instead of adopting the, nobody wins, nobody loses dream of the 70’s, they decided to fully embrace this reality of competition. The game is based on one person leveraging themselves against the others. One player advances by sending others players back to the beginning. You advance at their expense. It’s been a while since I played the game, but it always opened the door for some very interesting interactions. At first, one would timidly send a player back to start, usually accompanied by the title- sorry! A few minutes in we forget the pleasantries. A few more minutes in, we are going for the jugular- we revel in sending someone back to square one. We knock their piece over in disgust. We toss them off the board, we laugh in their face. Our opponents are reduced to tears. There is weeping and gnashing and rending of garments. We smugly say, don’t like, then quit. You’re gonna lose either way!
Then the game ends and we move on, right? WRONG! Kids revel in defeating their parents. Husbands and wives go to bed without speaking to each other. One reveling in the win, and the other, like the title says, begins to plot their sweet revenge. They’ll flush the toilet when they are in the shower. They’ll make sure the others favorite cereal is all gone. They’ll be late, or make them late for an important meeting. They’ll not hang up their coat because they know it drives the other crazy.
We’ve all been beaten and burned in life. And we’ve all allowed our minds to travel down this path of revenge, ruminating, plotting, preparing for our sweet revenge. Some of us have not just let our minds go down that path, we started to walk it. We actually start to put these thoughts and plans into action. What’s the old expression, Revenge is a dish served best cold.
Oh sweet revenge! Something about this game calls to some of us. In fact, for some of us, this is no game. This is our life. This is our passion. We become consumed with the desire, the dream, the hope, of revenge.
Author John Ortberg calls it the law of Lamech. In Genesis a man named Lamech is wronged. It is a genuine wrong. Lamech response isn’t just to hurt back, his response is ultimate revenge- murder. But not only that, he makes a vow- I will repay anyone who hurts me 77 times over. And eye for an eye- not good enough. Child’s play. 77 times over I will hurt you for every hurt you inflict on me.
Do any of you have any great revenge stories? I mean a really great revenge story? Did you ever read or see the Count of Monte Cristo? What a great revenge story. Edmond Dantes is betrayed by a trusted friend who has him set up and imprisoned. He takes Edmonds, job, his fiancé, his freedom, his life. For thirteen years Edmond rots in a jail and is ready to take his own life by starvation. He befriends an old man tunneling his way out who ends up teaching Edmond about books, politics, chemistry, art and war. As the plot thickens he reveals the secret of a lost fortune to Edmond, and upon his escape, Edmond claims this fortune and begins to follow his new calling in life- revenge. As the story progresses Edmund is consumed by his desire for revenge, he loses sight of who has betrayed him, and who he can count on. The lives of those he loves becomes intertwined with those he hates. Instead of winning back the love of his life he is on a path to destroy. More and more he realizes that all his fortune, fame and power means nothing. More and more he begins to see that this path of vengeance is eating away at his soul… Wait, that’s not a great revenge story. It ends up being a story about how revenge ends up killing more of the one seeking it, than the one being sought.
There has got to be some great story about revenge, where somebody wrongs someone else, that person plots and plots and spends a lifetime time conspiring the others demise, they exact some sweet revenge, and then it’s everything they hoped it would be. The wrong against them is magically lifted, the years they spent consumed by the desire for revenge were all worth it, and the revenge brings them the peace and purpose and fulfillment they were looking for all along. There has got so be some story like that?
Or at least, that’s what we keep telling ourselves. And many of us must keep telling ourselves this because many people have spent the better part of their life seeking and plotting revenge for a wrong committed against them, ever believing that somehow it will be so sweet and will heal our wounds.
But you see, even Hollywood has figured out what so many miss- there really is no such thing as sweet revenge. You see, there really are no great revenge stories are there. I mean, there are great stories. But there are no really truly great REVENGE stories, because there are never really and winners in the game of revenge. But still, we keep harboring fantasies and plans for sweet revenge. “I’ll make them pay” is the thought, the hope, the sickness that keeps us going.
But all the while, the game is killing us. Fredrick Beuchner wrote
of all the deadly sins resentment, or anger, appears to be the most fun. To lick your wounds and savor the pain you will give back is in many ways a feast fit for a king. But in the end it turns out that what you are eating at the banquet of bitterness is your own heart. The skeleton at the feast is you. You start out holding a grudge, but in the end the grudge holds you!
You see, this game is a little different. The only way to win this game is to refuse to play. You see, there really is no right way to play the game of sweet revenge. Sex, we play that game- by the rules. Money, great game to play by the rules. Revenge, and all its groupies- bitterness, resentment, anger- we don’t play this game. This is where we walk away from the board. We don’t even entertain thoughts of playing this one, because it can only lead to our self-destruction. It will consume us until all that is left is the lifeless skeleton of our remains.
Some of you have been playing this game for a long time. For days, weeks, years, whole seasons of your life. We know what it’s like to carry anger.
- Maybe your mom or dad left when you were a kid. They robbed you the opportunity of a having them there, of having a stable household. Of having both a healthy, well-adjusted man, and a healthy well-adjusted woman, in a healthy well adjusted relationship. They took that from you, and that rots. That was wrong. It really was. They took that from you, and you’ve been taking that with you ever since.
- You had a best friend in high school. You told each other everything. You were inseparable and talked about everything, to the point of driving your parent or parents crazy. You vowed to be there for each other always, and you would never let anybody or anything come between you. Until he entered the picture. And even though you were the one with the crush, he asked her to the dance. And you’ve been carrying that betrayal with you ever since.
- You had an idea at work. It was the idea of the decade, the one that would make all the difference for your company. You just didn’t realize how huge it was. You just thought it was a good insight. SO you told your manager, and because you manager knew the inner workings and reality of the company better, they knew this idea was the golden egg that would change everything. And it did, and you never saw a penny of it. In fact, your manager realized he would have to squeeze you out so that you could not make a fuss and reveal the truth. And you’ve carred that with yo ever since.
- You made a promise to your spouse to have and to hold, in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse. And you were happy to make that promise. It wasn’t even work for yo, it was a delight. Everything was going great. Then without warning you came home and they were, packing the bag. You have no idea what happened, all you know is they are in love with someone else, so they say, and they are leaving. And you have been robbed of the promise you had all intentions to keep for a lifetime.
The bible always talks about this stuff in a debt/debtor relationship. Or they are defined as “trespasses” against us. Someone robs us of our childhood. They take our marriage. They steal our idea. They destroy our reputation. The most nature response is resentment, is anger, is revenge. They owe you and you must make them pay. You want to get even. They took something from you and you need to make amends. They own you and you must make them pay 77 times over! And you have been carrying that desire, that resentment, that hope for revenge with you for a lifetime.
And it’s eating you alive. And you need to get rid of it.
Ephesians 4 The writer tells us, "in your anger do not sin." It’s OK to be angry. It’s normal to get angry. It would be weird to not get angry. You would have to be an emotional cold fish! In fact, it’s normal to get angry because in the world bad things, wrong things, awful things are going to happen to us. Things that are not right- unjust, unfair, awful and wrong things. But there is one thing worse- to then take that anger, and let it grow. In your anger do not sin. Inyour anger, do;t take that emotion and use it as a spring board to say something you can never take back. To do something that you are going to regret. Or, to use that and to start down a very very dark path in life. A path of seeking payback, or revenge and retribution.
He writes do not let the sun do down while you are angry. This was a common saying of the time, and it still is. It has worked it way into our collective marriage advice- well what ever you do, don’t go to bed angry. You have to work it out. And it’s great advice. Because the worst thing you can do is to take that anger and carry it into the next day. And you’ve probably done that if you’re married. You took that anger into the next day, and you were much less inclined to get up and make the coffee. You happened to forget to kiss her good bye and say I love you. You didn’t call on the way home to see if you could pick anything up. In fact, you were late getting home, but that doesn’t matter because she wasn’t making you dinner anyways because she is WAAAAY better at being angry than you. Yeah, I said that- hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Brothers, you do not want to get into a revenge match with a woman because they will beat you every time. They will out smart, out last, out play you every time.
Don’t let the sun go down on your anger. Don’t carry that emotion into he next day, because when it does, it gets a foothold in your heart. It’s a hold, and the long it’s there, the more comfortable it will feel.. The longer it is there, the more at home it’s gonna be. The longer it is there, the more is is gonna just become a part of the scenery of you life. It gets in there, and it settles down. And the longer it is there, the harder it will be to get rid of. The harder its gonna be to even know why it’s there, or how it’s there, or what happened in the first place. Have you been so mad at someone for so long, that you can’t even remember why you were mad? "Honey, what were we fighting about last week?" "I don’t know, but I’m still mad." "Well so am I."
When you start carrying that anger, that revenge, around with you, it gets in there, it’s hard to get rid of, and it starts spilling out into everything and everyone! Soon, you are going to find yourself in a whole new age and stage and place in life. But that anger, that revenge, is going to be so interwoven into your life, you won’t see it anymore, but I’m telling you, the people around you do. You’ll take that anger from your childhood, and bring into your first marriage. You’ll take that anger from your first marriage, and you’ll take it into your second marriage. You’ll take that anger from work, and you’ll take it out on your wife. You’ll take that anger at your parents, and you’ll seek revenge on you kids.
Don’t let the sun set on your anger, don’t carry it into the next season of your life, don’t carry it into the next relationship, the next job, into your relationship with your kids. Don’t carry it with you any longer. Deal with it. How? It’s so simple you won’t like the answer. It’s so simple a child can understand it. It so simple, but that why we can all do it. Get rid of it. Yeap, that simple. Verse 31, get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Ger rid of it. But George, you don’t understand. I was hurt, I was wronged. I know you were- get rid of it. But George, it’s not fair what they did. I know it wasn’t. I want to make them pay. I know you do. I want revenge. I know you do- now get rid of it. But George, if I told you want happened, you would be enraged. I know I would. You could tell me stories that would make my blood boil. I’ve heard stories that make me sick. I’ve heard of things that parents have done that make me want to kill them. That make me furious. I’ve heard of things spouses have done that make me want to go up to that guy and punch them right in their big stupid smug face. I’ve heard stories of injustice that make me want to scream. And after all the emotion, and frustration and discussion- get rid of it.
You not hurting them any more. You only hurting yourself, and now your hurting everyone else that comes in touch with your life. So it’s time to get rid of it. You’re going through life and you realize there is a small lump, or a persistent cough, or a spot that just doesn’t look right. You go to the doctor. The worst possible of news comes back. It’s not nothing, and it’s not benign. It’s cancer. What do you say, what’s the first think that goes through your head, the first things you ask- well doctor, what are we gonna do to get rid of it. Yeah, you want to find out what it is, where it is, how you got it. You want to understand it- but all of that is so that you can get rid of it. You’re not like. Oh, I think we need to use me as a test subject. Let’s seek to study and embrace this cancer and let it go untreated so that we understand the cancer and analyze that cancer, and see how the cancer will slowly kill me. NO- you want to get rid of the cancer. That’s the most important thing, that’s the only thing. Get rid of it- whatever it takes. IF it takes surgery, cut it out. If it takes putting chemicals into my body that will half kill me, but fully kill that cancer, do it. It will be worth the pain, the agnony, losing my hair, suffering greatly. I will subject myself to that because if I don’t I know something even worse is going to happen- it is going to kill me. SO more than anything else, now matter what it takes, no matter what the cost- get rid of it!
Someone of us have stuff eating us alive from the inside out. It has been growing in our heart and in our soul and it has grown tentacles that have reached into every part of our lives- our relationships, our work, our marriage, our parenting, even now into our kids lives as we see our anger not just lashing out that them, be wee see them even taking on our anger and rage and resentment and revenge. You have to get rid of it!
It’s time to forgive. As Christ has forgiven you! It’s time to forgive. The bible isn’t just good therapy and advice, the bible is good theology. The bible always brings it back to God. And this is what take sit a step further than we every could on our own. We model our forgiveness after the God who invented forgiveness. Because when we compare our lives to Jesus, well there is no comparison. God, who was perfect, who is perfect, forgives us of every thought, every deed, every angry, bitter hateful spiteful word, of everything. He clears the slate, he forgives us completely, and brings us into a relationship with him, and get gets on with life with us. He doesn’t let the sun set on his anger. He has already dealt with it. And he says I’m here to help you deal with it as well- get rid of it. Give it to me.
Name it- who do you want revenge on?
Identify it- why do you want revenge on them?
Then finally- get rid of it! Walk away from it. Forgive as you have been forgiven!
Because the thing is, we can never get back those things that are taken from us. We can never right the wrongs committed against us. When you childhood is stolen, you can’t get it back. When your first marriage is destroyed, you can’t get it back. When your reputation is damaged, you can undo the damage. And there are so many of us seeking revenge on people or for things that we can never go back to. You parents are dead. Highschool is over. Your X has moved on. For so many of the things we want revenge on, it’s not even really an option, is it?
So GET RID IF IT!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Monopoly: Playing with Money
left to our own devices, and left with only the influence of our culture and world- we will desire more and more and more and more. We will look at life like a giant monopoly board- we will want to own the board and crush the competition. We will leverage all our assets and every opportunity to get more money! We love money! We are like scrooge McDuck- we want to swim in a pool filled with bills and coins. But there is an antidote. There is another way to play the game of money. To play the game of wealth and stuff. And you already know what it is. We all know what it is. But like most things in life, it’s not a matter of knowing, it’s a matter of application, or practice.
I’m going to tell you where we’re going, then I’m going to start over and tell you how we get there. Here is how to play the game of money correctly- give a minimum of 10%, save a minimum of 10%, enjoy the rest. It’s the most simple and sound financial and spiritual advice in the world. It sounds good to everyone. But the world has convinced us, and we have convinced ourselves, that is unrealistic, even impossible. But the truth is, and each and every one of you knows this- it’s not. You choice where every dollar you make goes. You make that choice. You make the choices that free you to live this way. You’ve made the choices that don’t allow you to live that way. You can make the choices that would bring you back to this way.
In this Game of Life series we are talking about areas of life in which we play around. But unlike a game that we finish playing, put the pieces away, and move on with our day, these games effect everything. These games are not zero-sum-total outcomes. These games have implications for every area of life. We started with the pursuit of meaning in life. Life is not a trivial pursuit, but a passionate pursuit of God, of his purpose, plans will and way in our lives and in the world. And getting right with God gets meaning into our lives. We talked about sex and how the way we play with game will effect everything health- our health, our happiness, our relationships, our souls. Sex, perhaps more than any other game, has the power to bring pleasure, or pain, into our lives and the lives of others we play with. So we said, very plainly, very matter-of-factly, how to play the game- one man, one woman, become husband and wife, and start playing with game with the knowledge that this is how babies are made, this is how a couple is bonded together.
Today we have a likewise simple game plan, but one that few are following. And because they are not following it, they are losing. So we are going to look at how we are doing as a people in the game of money. In Canada personal bankruptcies are at an all-time high. In 2003 Canada passed a major landmark in how people live with, understand and spend money, and it will have implications for all of us and our economy. In 2003 for the first time, the average Canadian, meaning the majority of Canadians, spent more than he or she made. As a society we moved past equilibrium, and into debt.
At 22 years of age, the average student now graduates with $25,000 of debt. $1500 in credit card debt. That is not student loans- that’s credit card debt- translated, that’s $1500 worth or pizza, video games and clothing.
My daughter asked for a credit card. She’s been watching her mother and I. We go to the store. We get stuff. We go to the register, we run the card through. We walk away. It’s like magic! She wants a card. Think of all the stuff she could get. I’m like why do you want a card- because I want more stuff. Why do you want more stuff- stuff makes me happy. How are you going to pay for the stuff? With the credit card. She doesn’t get it. I say your mother and I have never missed paying off our balance in full ever. She has no idea what that means. I say, we use a credit card like a bank card. She has no idea what that means. We know how much we have, we never go over our checking account. I tell her I’ve never paid a penny of interest on credit cards because I don’t see it as a credit card, it’s a checking account card with air miles. She doesn’t get it. And many people don’t get it until it’s too late.
Any way you slice it, credit card debt is bad debt. And it gets worse after college once people are earning money. The average consumer owes $3,184 of credit card debt, or $8,299 per household. Most of you have credit card debt, 30% of you are only making minimum payments. And only 41% of you know what interest you are being charged on that credit card. So I’m going to tell you- and trust me, I’m not yet preaching the good news. This is bad news. You should be shocked at this- Upwards of 20%. Here’s what all of you should be thinking right now. If someone offered me an investment opportunity (not a spending opportunity) that guaranteed me that I would make a 20% profit rate on my money, do you know what I would do- I would do this and all of you would do this. I would liquidate every asset I could, even if liquidating that asset involved some penalties, I’d pull out of my pension plan, out of my IRA’s out of my RRSP’s, out of everything I had in the market, and I would put all of that money in that investment. Because if I could invest at 20% annually on my initial investment, I would be extremely wealthy extremely fast. I’d double my money in 5 years. In 20 years that $10,000 would be $50,000. That’s without adding anything else to that investment. Just letting it sit. And guess what, if you make that compound interest, meaning, you earn interest on the money as it continues to role over, then your 10,000 would be $383,376.00 in 20 years.
Here’s the thing, you are playing the game opposite. You are spending money at an 20% interest rate. If you charge $10,000 on a credit card and make the minimum payment it will take you 23 years to pay that off, and you will have paid nearly $10,000 in interest. When you buy on a credit card and start making minimum payments you double what you pay for anything. Those shoes don’t cost $50. They cost you $100.
Here’s why this matters- We are playing with money like it’s a game, but it’s not. Some of you are one move away from financial disaster. Some of you are already in financial disaster. Some of you are managing your fiancés where you are not prepared for any financial surprises. But you know what I‘ve learned about unexpected expense? Expect them. You car will break down. Your refrigerator will need replaced. Your kid will need braces. I can guarantee you numerous unexpected expenses. And you are still playing with you money like a game. It costs us our time, our energy, our work. It creates stress, worry and anxiety. Couples argue about money more than anything else, anything else! They fight about money. Can you believe that couples fight over this! I know, most of you find that hard to believe because you’ve never fought over something so petty as money and spending. You would never let it hold that much power in your life or come between you and you spouse. But it’s true- couples argue and fight and resent each other. They belittle and undermine each other. They stop to trust each other. They get mad and don’t have sex with each other. That would just never be worth it for me!
They start to nag and nit pick about every little thing because they don’t know where the money is going, but they do know this- more money is going out than is coming in, and that can’t help but create an incredible amount of internal stress. That can’t help but become a giant wedge, an impasse in a household and in a relationship. Money has effectively become the unwanted god of their household because they now serve debt. It’s that simple- if you own money, if you are in debt, you are not the master of your life. The one who you owe money to owns you.
Some of you have heard this before, and it’s true- Jesus says more about money than any other topic apart from his mission. As a subject of life and conversation, Jesus says more about money than anything else. What you might be interested to know is that in all his talking about money that we have recorded, he never once asks for money. Maybe he did, because the disciples had money. They had an account of money that they must have used for things like food, shelter and serving others. We don’t know anything about that money really, except that it must have come from people who wanted to support the ministry of Jesus. And maybe Jesus did ask them for money, but none of that is recorded. What is recorded for us is that Jesus instructed people to give to the temple (the church), to give to the poor and needy, and to pay their taxes.
Some people he tells to sell everything they have. Others he simply invited to generousity. But most of all, he warns people of the dangers of the love of money. We know that Jesus was not anti-money. He was not against money and was not calling for a revolution where we burn down the banks and abolish all financial institutions. But he was radically against and on guard against the love of money. He knew that of all the temptations in the world, of all the false gods that people would functionally give their lives to, it was money. I say functionally because Jesus was always concerned most with what was happening inside of us. He knew that few people would outwardly worship money. They aren’t going to put on the monacle and swim in a pool of cash. But more and more I’d argue folks do want to live like this. But he knew that inwardly they would be slaves to money, lovers of money, obsessed with money, consumed with the debts they owed or their desire for more. He talks about money because we obsess about money. We love to play monopoly! We love money!
I want to go to what is perhaps Jesus’ most famous and most often quoted passage on money. Matthew Chapter 6:19-24
19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
22"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.
When Jesus talks about treasure, he is not using the word for money. He’s using the word for treasure. What this means is that he’s referring to anything we treasure. Thing we truly love. Things of great value to us. And what he is telling us is that what we should be most invested in, what we should value the most, are things of eternal value. That’s just good wisdom and life advice. Care most about, invest in, treasure up in the areas of life that matter most. Don’t waste your treasure on temporary, passing stuff. Stuff that will rust and fade away. Because where you treasure things is where your heart will be. And your heart, above all things, should be guarded and treasured. Sometime we are shocked at what we realize we value. And there is sometimes a huge variance in what we think matters to us, and what actually matters to us. We say we value a relationship, but the relationship falls apart, and we never give it a passing thought. We say our stuff doesn’t matter, then we lose something, and suddenly we realize how much this thing, that stuff, mattered to us. Because careful, Jesus says, about where your treasure is located- it is located in temporary things, or is it beigin built up in eternal things.
Then he says some weird stuff about eyes and light. This sis o deep, but we’ll keep it simple- what do your eyes desire? The eyes they say are like the window to the soul. He saying the things your eyes look at and long for and examine closely are a reflection of your heart. And it’s a two way street- the things you continually look at and long for will shed light on you heart. You start looking at and longing for more stuff, and more stuff, and more stuff. We know this.
Do you know when I want the most stuff? When I look at stuff. I’ll be perfectly happy and content. Then I’ll turn on the TV and the commercial will tell me that I deserve a new car. Then I look out my window, and I say hey, you’re right, I’m way too cool to drive a Taurus! They tell me I need a new iphone. Then I look at my old cell phone, and I say hey, you’re right, I can’t play games when I’m supposed to be working, I need that. I go the mall, I’m dressed, warm, and happy. Then I realize that my members only jacket has come full circle, so I’m cool again! But then I look at my bootleg jeans, and I realize I need skinny jeans, or I’m an old, out of touch dad, and I’m not happy anymore. (Actually, I’m really happy being an old dad who has way more important things to worry about than the jeans I wear).
They eye is the lamp of the body- the stuff we look at illuminates our hearts, and if we look at stuff, we’ll only start to want more and more and more and more. So Jesus says this- you can’t serve two masters. You can’t multi-task, and you can’t multi-master. You’re gonna love one and hate the other. Then he hits us right in the heart- you can’t serve both God and money.
As you play the game of life you will have to play the game of monopoly- you will have to. Money is a reality of our world. So you must learn to play, you must learn to play well. Because if you don’t, the game of monopoly will master you. And you can very well end up spending the better part of your life, or even all of your life, serving money. And God doesn’t want you to come to the end of your life and realize you served the wrong master the whole time. God does not want you to waste your life- to waste your life- serving money and not serving Him. And you do not want to waste your life that way either. Money is a waste of a God to worship. He will promise you the world, and in the end, give you nothing in return. He will ask everything of you, he will placate you with shiny, bright and colorful things, then in the end you will realize you really got nothing back.
But our God is a great God. And serving Him is not a waste. Giving to Him is not a waste. It is the best thing you can do with your life and it is the best thing you can do with your money and it is the best way to play this game of monopoly.
And so here is where the rubber meets the road. The old saying goes, show me your checkbook, or credit card bill, or the bottom line, and I’ll show you your values. I will know, just by looking at the bottom line, what’s important to you, what you value, how you have prioritized your life, and where you stand. And a lot of you, a lot of you, would not like the picture painted of you by your bottom line (that sounded funny!) You would say that’s not me, that’s not what I value, that’s not what I believe, that’s not where my treasure is. And I would have to say to you, the numbers don’t lie. The numbers never lie. But if you don’t like what the numbers say- then you can make a choice, and you can change your life, you can serve a better master.
And this is how you do it- you start to give money away. You give money away. You will never be free from the love of money until you give it away. You will never be safe or be free from the worship of money until you give it away because when you give it away you are telling money- I own you. I own you, and you don’t own me. You are just coins and paper. You are just a figure in an account. You are just symbolic of value as gauged by our economy. But you, money, are not symbolic of my net worth. You are not symbolic of my value. You are just a part of life in this world. You are a reality of society that has moved beyond bartar and exchange. You are a tool. And I will be your master, you will not master me.
And the best way to master money is to give it away. When you give it away you are free… There are few things as empowering and joyful as giving money away! Some of you know exactly what I’m talking about because you are already generous, giving people who have mastered your money. Others here have no clue what I’m talking about and you don’t understand this, and you are not really convinced yet because you’ve never experienced this, but I’m telling you, there is nothing more freeing than giving away money, there are few things that have the potential to give us more happiness and joy, and it’s not in spending more money, it’s in giving money.
It’s what author Randy Alcorn calls the treasure principle: I will not be robbed of the joy of giving. That by the grace of God I will never earn so little, or so much, or so middle, that I will be robbed of the joy of giving and saving first, then enjoying the rest. It’s about making the decision that it doesn’t matter if I live below the poverty level- money, or the lack of money, will never be my master, so I will give the first percentage to God. I will never live so far above the poverty level that money is my master. I will give a percentage away.
And when you give it to the church, you are actually telling God, you are the owner. You are the master. I belong to you, and my money belongs to you. I’m actually not my own, and this money is not my own, but it is yours, and I will show by giving you the first cut off the top.
Some of you right now are thinking that this is all very self serving for you, the pastor of a church. So let me be clear on this- God does not need your money. God doesn’t need your money, but he wants you. And he knows that the best way to get you, is to free you from serving money, and the way to free you from serving money, is, again, to give it away.
So let me be very clear about what I’m saying to you- I want you to give a percentage of your money. If you don’t like me, if you don’t trust our church, fine- give your money to something else. Give it to another church, give it to missions, give it to charity, give it to disaster relief, give it to a needy neighbor. But give it away.
But if you ask me, do I want your money? Absolutely. Yeah, I love our church, I want our church to grow. I think our church is an awesome place to be giving your money. But I also know this, where you treasure is, your heart goes also. So if you give to God, your heart starts to go towards God. And if you give to God through this church, you start to store up treasure in this church.
Now I know nothing about the individual giving of any person in this church. That is by design. We have a treasurer who handles the money and a stewardship committee that oversees this area. But if they showed me the numbers, I guarantee you I’d see this correlation- the biggest percentage givers, that is the ones making the biggest sacrifice to give to this church, are also our best volunteers, our best helper, our most faithful volunteers. And I know this because I am human and I know that I only invest in things that matter to me. And when I invest in something, I also give it my time, my energy, by service.
So do I want your giving? Yes, because I also want your heart. Because I want God to have your heart, and because I want Connections to be blessed through you, and I want you to be blest through Connections.
If you are in debt:
So what to do if you are in the hole? Let me tweak the instructions. Give first to God, get on a plan to get out of debt, and live on the bare minimum required to survive. Here’s where you will have to get some help. If you are in debt you are in the place where you need help, you need sound financial advice, and you need a plan to get out of that debt. Here is where I can’t tell you what the percentages are, but I will stick with the first rule- give. Give to God. Do not let money or now the debt of money you owe be your master. Give to God first. It will be significantly less. But do not rob yourself of the freedom and joy that comes with saying Money, you don’t own me- I am in control of you, and I choose to give first to God. Then follow your plan to get out of debt as fast as you can! Get on a plan so you know exactly how and when you will be out of debt. Mark it on your calendar, make it a reality, then celebrate like crazy when it comes to pass. Because then you will know what it’s like to live without that weight on your shoulders. You will, for the first time maybe, know what it’s like to be free from the god of money and from being slave to your debt. Celebrate that freedom.
And here’s the thing- then you can move towards the joy of giving. Because there’s something even greater than being free from debt, it’s being free to give. It’s being free to share, to be generous, to be a blessing to others. And there is nothing quite so thrilling as this.
Some of you are at a different place than us. You have more than you need. You are saving like crazy. But money is still your master because you don’t give any of it away. You live with only your needs in mind, and you do not know the joy of giving money away.
But for all of us, here is the deal. Here is the minimum- give 10, save 10, live off the rest. Get there. Stay there. Then go beyond. Then go to a place where you can give more, save more, and enjoy more what is left over. I’m telling you, the most freeing, the most empowering, the most exhilarating thing you can do is to give your money away! Honestly, it’s a rush. It’s an adrenaline high. Be careful when you start giving, because you might become and addict! You might get so excited about giving money away, you’ll find yourself always thinking about your next fix. You’ll start to plan and budget for your next big give. You’ll start to rework your personal finances, you’ll start to re-prioritize your life and living, all so you can give a little more. You’ll start to hide things from you spouse. They’ll look at the finances, and they’ll be like, honey, there’s a thousand dollars unaccounted for in our checking? Where did that go? And you’ll have to tell him, or you’ll have to tell her, honey, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself, I gave it away! Then you’ll get all defensive and you’ll say, and you know what, I’m happy that I gave money away. I’m happy it did it, and I’d do it again, in fact, I’m already thinking about doing it again. Then your wife will just start to cry and say, oh God, where did I go right with this man?
It’s true folks. Once you break free of god of money, once you master it, and give it to God, and say God you get the first portion, and you get it all really- it all belongs to you. Once you experience the joy of generosity, the security of saving, you will spend responsibly and enjoy the game of money more than you thought possible.
I’m going to tell you where we’re going, then I’m going to start over and tell you how we get there. Here is how to play the game of money correctly- give a minimum of 10%, save a minimum of 10%, enjoy the rest. It’s the most simple and sound financial and spiritual advice in the world. It sounds good to everyone. But the world has convinced us, and we have convinced ourselves, that is unrealistic, even impossible. But the truth is, and each and every one of you knows this- it’s not. You choice where every dollar you make goes. You make that choice. You make the choices that free you to live this way. You’ve made the choices that don’t allow you to live that way. You can make the choices that would bring you back to this way.
In this Game of Life series we are talking about areas of life in which we play around. But unlike a game that we finish playing, put the pieces away, and move on with our day, these games effect everything. These games are not zero-sum-total outcomes. These games have implications for every area of life. We started with the pursuit of meaning in life. Life is not a trivial pursuit, but a passionate pursuit of God, of his purpose, plans will and way in our lives and in the world. And getting right with God gets meaning into our lives. We talked about sex and how the way we play with game will effect everything health- our health, our happiness, our relationships, our souls. Sex, perhaps more than any other game, has the power to bring pleasure, or pain, into our lives and the lives of others we play with. So we said, very plainly, very matter-of-factly, how to play the game- one man, one woman, become husband and wife, and start playing with game with the knowledge that this is how babies are made, this is how a couple is bonded together.
Today we have a likewise simple game plan, but one that few are following. And because they are not following it, they are losing. So we are going to look at how we are doing as a people in the game of money. In Canada personal bankruptcies are at an all-time high. In 2003 Canada passed a major landmark in how people live with, understand and spend money, and it will have implications for all of us and our economy. In 2003 for the first time, the average Canadian, meaning the majority of Canadians, spent more than he or she made. As a society we moved past equilibrium, and into debt.
At 22 years of age, the average student now graduates with $25,000 of debt. $1500 in credit card debt. That is not student loans- that’s credit card debt- translated, that’s $1500 worth or pizza, video games and clothing.
My daughter asked for a credit card. She’s been watching her mother and I. We go to the store. We get stuff. We go to the register, we run the card through. We walk away. It’s like magic! She wants a card. Think of all the stuff she could get. I’m like why do you want a card- because I want more stuff. Why do you want more stuff- stuff makes me happy. How are you going to pay for the stuff? With the credit card. She doesn’t get it. I say your mother and I have never missed paying off our balance in full ever. She has no idea what that means. I say, we use a credit card like a bank card. She has no idea what that means. We know how much we have, we never go over our checking account. I tell her I’ve never paid a penny of interest on credit cards because I don’t see it as a credit card, it’s a checking account card with air miles. She doesn’t get it. And many people don’t get it until it’s too late.
Any way you slice it, credit card debt is bad debt. And it gets worse after college once people are earning money. The average consumer owes $3,184 of credit card debt, or $8,299 per household. Most of you have credit card debt, 30% of you are only making minimum payments. And only 41% of you know what interest you are being charged on that credit card. So I’m going to tell you- and trust me, I’m not yet preaching the good news. This is bad news. You should be shocked at this- Upwards of 20%. Here’s what all of you should be thinking right now. If someone offered me an investment opportunity (not a spending opportunity) that guaranteed me that I would make a 20% profit rate on my money, do you know what I would do- I would do this and all of you would do this. I would liquidate every asset I could, even if liquidating that asset involved some penalties, I’d pull out of my pension plan, out of my IRA’s out of my RRSP’s, out of everything I had in the market, and I would put all of that money in that investment. Because if I could invest at 20% annually on my initial investment, I would be extremely wealthy extremely fast. I’d double my money in 5 years. In 20 years that $10,000 would be $50,000. That’s without adding anything else to that investment. Just letting it sit. And guess what, if you make that compound interest, meaning, you earn interest on the money as it continues to role over, then your 10,000 would be $383,376.00 in 20 years.
Here’s the thing, you are playing the game opposite. You are spending money at an 20% interest rate. If you charge $10,000 on a credit card and make the minimum payment it will take you 23 years to pay that off, and you will have paid nearly $10,000 in interest. When you buy on a credit card and start making minimum payments you double what you pay for anything. Those shoes don’t cost $50. They cost you $100.
Here’s why this matters- We are playing with money like it’s a game, but it’s not. Some of you are one move away from financial disaster. Some of you are already in financial disaster. Some of you are managing your fiancés where you are not prepared for any financial surprises. But you know what I‘ve learned about unexpected expense? Expect them. You car will break down. Your refrigerator will need replaced. Your kid will need braces. I can guarantee you numerous unexpected expenses. And you are still playing with you money like a game. It costs us our time, our energy, our work. It creates stress, worry and anxiety. Couples argue about money more than anything else, anything else! They fight about money. Can you believe that couples fight over this! I know, most of you find that hard to believe because you’ve never fought over something so petty as money and spending. You would never let it hold that much power in your life or come between you and you spouse. But it’s true- couples argue and fight and resent each other. They belittle and undermine each other. They stop to trust each other. They get mad and don’t have sex with each other. That would just never be worth it for me!
They start to nag and nit pick about every little thing because they don’t know where the money is going, but they do know this- more money is going out than is coming in, and that can’t help but create an incredible amount of internal stress. That can’t help but become a giant wedge, an impasse in a household and in a relationship. Money has effectively become the unwanted god of their household because they now serve debt. It’s that simple- if you own money, if you are in debt, you are not the master of your life. The one who you owe money to owns you.
Some of you have heard this before, and it’s true- Jesus says more about money than any other topic apart from his mission. As a subject of life and conversation, Jesus says more about money than anything else. What you might be interested to know is that in all his talking about money that we have recorded, he never once asks for money. Maybe he did, because the disciples had money. They had an account of money that they must have used for things like food, shelter and serving others. We don’t know anything about that money really, except that it must have come from people who wanted to support the ministry of Jesus. And maybe Jesus did ask them for money, but none of that is recorded. What is recorded for us is that Jesus instructed people to give to the temple (the church), to give to the poor and needy, and to pay their taxes.
Some people he tells to sell everything they have. Others he simply invited to generousity. But most of all, he warns people of the dangers of the love of money. We know that Jesus was not anti-money. He was not against money and was not calling for a revolution where we burn down the banks and abolish all financial institutions. But he was radically against and on guard against the love of money. He knew that of all the temptations in the world, of all the false gods that people would functionally give their lives to, it was money. I say functionally because Jesus was always concerned most with what was happening inside of us. He knew that few people would outwardly worship money. They aren’t going to put on the monacle and swim in a pool of cash. But more and more I’d argue folks do want to live like this. But he knew that inwardly they would be slaves to money, lovers of money, obsessed with money, consumed with the debts they owed or their desire for more. He talks about money because we obsess about money. We love to play monopoly! We love money!
I want to go to what is perhaps Jesus’ most famous and most often quoted passage on money. Matthew Chapter 6:19-24
19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
22"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.
When Jesus talks about treasure, he is not using the word for money. He’s using the word for treasure. What this means is that he’s referring to anything we treasure. Thing we truly love. Things of great value to us. And what he is telling us is that what we should be most invested in, what we should value the most, are things of eternal value. That’s just good wisdom and life advice. Care most about, invest in, treasure up in the areas of life that matter most. Don’t waste your treasure on temporary, passing stuff. Stuff that will rust and fade away. Because where you treasure things is where your heart will be. And your heart, above all things, should be guarded and treasured. Sometime we are shocked at what we realize we value. And there is sometimes a huge variance in what we think matters to us, and what actually matters to us. We say we value a relationship, but the relationship falls apart, and we never give it a passing thought. We say our stuff doesn’t matter, then we lose something, and suddenly we realize how much this thing, that stuff, mattered to us. Because careful, Jesus says, about where your treasure is located- it is located in temporary things, or is it beigin built up in eternal things.
Then he says some weird stuff about eyes and light. This sis o deep, but we’ll keep it simple- what do your eyes desire? The eyes they say are like the window to the soul. He saying the things your eyes look at and long for and examine closely are a reflection of your heart. And it’s a two way street- the things you continually look at and long for will shed light on you heart. You start looking at and longing for more stuff, and more stuff, and more stuff. We know this.
Do you know when I want the most stuff? When I look at stuff. I’ll be perfectly happy and content. Then I’ll turn on the TV and the commercial will tell me that I deserve a new car. Then I look out my window, and I say hey, you’re right, I’m way too cool to drive a Taurus! They tell me I need a new iphone. Then I look at my old cell phone, and I say hey, you’re right, I can’t play games when I’m supposed to be working, I need that. I go the mall, I’m dressed, warm, and happy. Then I realize that my members only jacket has come full circle, so I’m cool again! But then I look at my bootleg jeans, and I realize I need skinny jeans, or I’m an old, out of touch dad, and I’m not happy anymore. (Actually, I’m really happy being an old dad who has way more important things to worry about than the jeans I wear).
They eye is the lamp of the body- the stuff we look at illuminates our hearts, and if we look at stuff, we’ll only start to want more and more and more and more. So Jesus says this- you can’t serve two masters. You can’t multi-task, and you can’t multi-master. You’re gonna love one and hate the other. Then he hits us right in the heart- you can’t serve both God and money.
As you play the game of life you will have to play the game of monopoly- you will have to. Money is a reality of our world. So you must learn to play, you must learn to play well. Because if you don’t, the game of monopoly will master you. And you can very well end up spending the better part of your life, or even all of your life, serving money. And God doesn’t want you to come to the end of your life and realize you served the wrong master the whole time. God does not want you to waste your life- to waste your life- serving money and not serving Him. And you do not want to waste your life that way either. Money is a waste of a God to worship. He will promise you the world, and in the end, give you nothing in return. He will ask everything of you, he will placate you with shiny, bright and colorful things, then in the end you will realize you really got nothing back.
But our God is a great God. And serving Him is not a waste. Giving to Him is not a waste. It is the best thing you can do with your life and it is the best thing you can do with your money and it is the best way to play this game of monopoly.
And so here is where the rubber meets the road. The old saying goes, show me your checkbook, or credit card bill, or the bottom line, and I’ll show you your values. I will know, just by looking at the bottom line, what’s important to you, what you value, how you have prioritized your life, and where you stand. And a lot of you, a lot of you, would not like the picture painted of you by your bottom line (that sounded funny!) You would say that’s not me, that’s not what I value, that’s not what I believe, that’s not where my treasure is. And I would have to say to you, the numbers don’t lie. The numbers never lie. But if you don’t like what the numbers say- then you can make a choice, and you can change your life, you can serve a better master.
And this is how you do it- you start to give money away. You give money away. You will never be free from the love of money until you give it away. You will never be safe or be free from the worship of money until you give it away because when you give it away you are telling money- I own you. I own you, and you don’t own me. You are just coins and paper. You are just a figure in an account. You are just symbolic of value as gauged by our economy. But you, money, are not symbolic of my net worth. You are not symbolic of my value. You are just a part of life in this world. You are a reality of society that has moved beyond bartar and exchange. You are a tool. And I will be your master, you will not master me.
And the best way to master money is to give it away. When you give it away you are free… There are few things as empowering and joyful as giving money away! Some of you know exactly what I’m talking about because you are already generous, giving people who have mastered your money. Others here have no clue what I’m talking about and you don’t understand this, and you are not really convinced yet because you’ve never experienced this, but I’m telling you, there is nothing more freeing than giving away money, there are few things that have the potential to give us more happiness and joy, and it’s not in spending more money, it’s in giving money.
It’s what author Randy Alcorn calls the treasure principle: I will not be robbed of the joy of giving. That by the grace of God I will never earn so little, or so much, or so middle, that I will be robbed of the joy of giving and saving first, then enjoying the rest. It’s about making the decision that it doesn’t matter if I live below the poverty level- money, or the lack of money, will never be my master, so I will give the first percentage to God. I will never live so far above the poverty level that money is my master. I will give a percentage away.
And when you give it to the church, you are actually telling God, you are the owner. You are the master. I belong to you, and my money belongs to you. I’m actually not my own, and this money is not my own, but it is yours, and I will show by giving you the first cut off the top.
Some of you right now are thinking that this is all very self serving for you, the pastor of a church. So let me be clear on this- God does not need your money. God doesn’t need your money, but he wants you. And he knows that the best way to get you, is to free you from serving money, and the way to free you from serving money, is, again, to give it away.
So let me be very clear about what I’m saying to you- I want you to give a percentage of your money. If you don’t like me, if you don’t trust our church, fine- give your money to something else. Give it to another church, give it to missions, give it to charity, give it to disaster relief, give it to a needy neighbor. But give it away.
But if you ask me, do I want your money? Absolutely. Yeah, I love our church, I want our church to grow. I think our church is an awesome place to be giving your money. But I also know this, where you treasure is, your heart goes also. So if you give to God, your heart starts to go towards God. And if you give to God through this church, you start to store up treasure in this church.
Now I know nothing about the individual giving of any person in this church. That is by design. We have a treasurer who handles the money and a stewardship committee that oversees this area. But if they showed me the numbers, I guarantee you I’d see this correlation- the biggest percentage givers, that is the ones making the biggest sacrifice to give to this church, are also our best volunteers, our best helper, our most faithful volunteers. And I know this because I am human and I know that I only invest in things that matter to me. And when I invest in something, I also give it my time, my energy, by service.
So do I want your giving? Yes, because I also want your heart. Because I want God to have your heart, and because I want Connections to be blessed through you, and I want you to be blest through Connections.
If you are in debt:
So what to do if you are in the hole? Let me tweak the instructions. Give first to God, get on a plan to get out of debt, and live on the bare minimum required to survive. Here’s where you will have to get some help. If you are in debt you are in the place where you need help, you need sound financial advice, and you need a plan to get out of that debt. Here is where I can’t tell you what the percentages are, but I will stick with the first rule- give. Give to God. Do not let money or now the debt of money you owe be your master. Give to God first. It will be significantly less. But do not rob yourself of the freedom and joy that comes with saying Money, you don’t own me- I am in control of you, and I choose to give first to God. Then follow your plan to get out of debt as fast as you can! Get on a plan so you know exactly how and when you will be out of debt. Mark it on your calendar, make it a reality, then celebrate like crazy when it comes to pass. Because then you will know what it’s like to live without that weight on your shoulders. You will, for the first time maybe, know what it’s like to be free from the god of money and from being slave to your debt. Celebrate that freedom.
And here’s the thing- then you can move towards the joy of giving. Because there’s something even greater than being free from debt, it’s being free to give. It’s being free to share, to be generous, to be a blessing to others. And there is nothing quite so thrilling as this.
Some of you are at a different place than us. You have more than you need. You are saving like crazy. But money is still your master because you don’t give any of it away. You live with only your needs in mind, and you do not know the joy of giving money away.
But for all of us, here is the deal. Here is the minimum- give 10, save 10, live off the rest. Get there. Stay there. Then go beyond. Then go to a place where you can give more, save more, and enjoy more what is left over. I’m telling you, the most freeing, the most empowering, the most exhilarating thing you can do is to give your money away! Honestly, it’s a rush. It’s an adrenaline high. Be careful when you start giving, because you might become and addict! You might get so excited about giving money away, you’ll find yourself always thinking about your next fix. You’ll start to plan and budget for your next big give. You’ll start to rework your personal finances, you’ll start to re-prioritize your life and living, all so you can give a little more. You’ll start to hide things from you spouse. They’ll look at the finances, and they’ll be like, honey, there’s a thousand dollars unaccounted for in our checking? Where did that go? And you’ll have to tell him, or you’ll have to tell her, honey, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself, I gave it away! Then you’ll get all defensive and you’ll say, and you know what, I’m happy that I gave money away. I’m happy it did it, and I’d do it again, in fact, I’m already thinking about doing it again. Then your wife will just start to cry and say, oh God, where did I go right with this man?
It’s true folks. Once you break free of god of money, once you master it, and give it to God, and say God you get the first portion, and you get it all really- it all belongs to you. Once you experience the joy of generosity, the security of saving, you will spend responsibly and enjoy the game of money more than you thought possible.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Twister: Playing with Sex
We want to talk to you about sex today in a real, honest, open and frank way because we realize that in today’s culture it is very possible to completely miss this aspect of our humanity. You can grow up today and potentially never hear about sex, be exposed to anything sexual or titillating, you may be aware that there are boys and girls, and they are different, but you’re not even sure why. HA!
Nowhere are we probably more afraid to invite God into the game of Life than in the area of sex. Because let’s face it- for a lot of us, that just sounds kind of weird. But there is nothing kinky or crazy about it, in fact, we know, we really do know that God has to be a part of this area of our lives, because God invented the game, he knows how to play the game, he has shown us the box in which we hold the game, the rules by which we play the game, and he has shown us very clearly what winning the game looks like, and what losing the game looks like. And like all these games that we’ll be talking about - you do not want to lose. You do not want to lose in this area of the game of life. Losing in this area, like all the other areas we’ll be talking about, will spill over into all the other areas, and in the end, can ruin the whole game for you. It can ruin every other part of the game of your life. Or it can be a central part of winning this whole game as it brings into your life a solid and beautiful marriage and family.
Now I don’t have to convince anyone here, at least I don’t think I do, that we are playing a lot of twister in our lives. I hope there are a lot of people who have won at the game of twister, and it’s a game that you really like playing. REALLY like playing. There are others here who have really lost at this game. You have played a whole lot of twister, in a lot of ways, with a lot of different people. You have treated others like an enemy of the game, and you have hurt them. You have been hurt because of the way others played with you. You played the game in some unwise ways, and it’s cost you.
Some folks love stats. They often make my eyes glaze over. But some stats here are very telling in how we are, as a culture, playing the game of sex.
Let’s start with adults: 96% of adults between ages 20-60 report have had sex. They are not virgins. On the flip side, 4% report being virgins, never having had sex. Now the study didn’t get into this, but I will infer from this, and from the bible, that this means that you can live a rich, full fulfilled life, and never have sex. You can be a sexual being, make of female, have that be an integral part of your identity, and yet never engage in the act of sex. We have one stellar example of this life as Christians- His name was Jesus.
Of the sexually active, 29% if men between the ages of 20-60 report having 15 or more sexual partners. 9% of women report 15+. Someone is lying, or that 9% have had way more than just 15 partners. But at this level, “partner” isn’t really the right word. They’re just playing a game of twister with a warm body.
17% of men and 25% of women report having only one sexual partner in their lifetime. Most of these folks are married. Now these starts are really broad strokes: roughly 80% of people marry in their life time. Roughly 50% of these end in divorce, though the divorce rate is dropping. More than one in 3 marriages are affected by an affair. 22% of husbands and 14% of wives have an extra-marital affair. Most of these marriages end.
What about folks under 20? The latest reports indicate a slight decrease in sexual activity amount high school students, with now around 47% indicating they haven’t had, what they consider, sex. There are a whole lot of other stats and things to talk about here. But here is what comes across to me, as what I think is one of the scariest stats- recent stats indicate as many as 1 in 4 teenage girls in the US and Canada have a STD or STI: human papillomavirus (HPV), chlamydia, and herpes simplex virus. Which if course means that about 50% of high schools engaging in sexual activity are getting an STI!
OK, the point is this and should be obvious- many people, and many of our youth, are already playing this game. More importantly, they are already losing at this game. They are harming themselves in physical, emotion, and I would add spiritual ways. They have not been taught the right way to play. And when you take all the moralizing and STI’s and stuff out of the picture, it still boils down to this- less than half of people who are sexually active report being satisfied with their sex life. Less than half. Of those having sex, most say it’s not as satisfying as they’d like it to be, and for many in fact it’s dissatisfying. Indicating that they think they have some significant problems in their sex life.
That is so sad! So here’s the is the good news- do you want to know who is reporting the most sexual satisfaction of all- of all people in North America- married Christian women! And you know whom among this group report the highest rate of sexual satisfaction- the women who’ve only had one sexual partner and who waited until marriage. How about that- abstinence sells sex! If you want the best sex- be a woman and wait until marriage. Women who indicate they are Christian and who are married are statistically the most likely to be winning at the game of twister.
So now let’s get on with talking about how to play this game right and how to win! Because really, this game to too great to mess up!
Step one, following the wisdom of Solomon- fear God. Revere God. Acknowledge that God made sex, he made us sexual, he had a design for our sexuality, a purpose for our sexuality, and plan for our sexuality. That’s our opening move in this game of Twister- God made us sexual and has a design for the expression of our sexuality. God wasn’t surprised by the plumbing. He thought it up, and I think he did a pretty great job. And like any good game, he didn’t just give us the pieces, he made us a game plan. God gave us the parts and a plan. We start by embracing that.
Step two, following Solomon’s wisdom- love God and neighbor as you love your self- somehow your sexuality must reflect your love of God, your love of your neighbor, and your love of yourself. Which should all be so obvious, but somehow isn’t, because so many have removed God from the game of sex, they have not sought to love their neighbor, and they do not even treat themselves in loving and respectful ways.
Let’s go to Genesis 1. In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The story unfolds a brilliant plan of creation- creating the foundation for the entire universe, for all of life. Read it. Embrace it. It’s awesome. You can’t understand fully Christian faith, or life I would add, without becoming intimately knowledgeable with the first three chapters of Genesis. You certainly can’t understand sex without these chapters.
God makes the realms of creation- the universe, the atmosphere, and the earth, God has laid out the playing field so to speak. He created what was necessary to support life. Then he starts to fill them. He makes the sun, the moon, the stars. He fills the universe. He makes the birds and the fish- he fills the atmosphere. Then, day six, he starts to fill the earth.
He starts by making all the animals: livestock, wild animals, and the crawlies. He makes it all. Then he says something totally new, totally different: let us make man in our image. Already we are seeing very clearly the Trinitarian overtones in the revelation of our God. Already we know that humans are going to be intimately tied to and like the rest of creation, but already we know that there is going to be something very unique, wonderful, and extraordinarily different about humans.
God says: let us make man in our image, and them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all creatures that move along the ground. SO God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; make and female he created the.
We do not get the full image of God without men and women. We can never be complete without one another. It is absolutely essential. And then God let’s us know why: God blessed them and said to them, be fruitful and increase in number.
The very first command that God gave to men and women was to have sex! And ever since that day teenagers have been trying passionately to honor God and obey that command frequently as they can! What does he actually say- be fruitful and increase in number. The first command is to have babies. Make babies! We just happen to know that the best way to make babies is to have sex.
Here’s the thing we have to acknowledge about our God- he wants people. He wants us to make more people. God likes babies because he likes his image bearers and he wants more of his image bearers to populate the creation he made for us. We will never start to understand the game of sex until we are willing to acknowledge and embrace this reality- God likes us being fruitful. God wants us to join with him in the creative process and create babies!
If the bible story ended there we would have a very clear mandate, and very few instruction on how to carry it out. And let’s be very clear here- women would be at a terrible disadvantage to men. It would be our job to go and get as many women pregnant as possible. To sow our seed and fill the earth.
But thankfully the story doesn’t end there. In fact, it now goes way deeper. God says I have to give you chapter 2 so you know how to play this game. Lets’ go there: Chapter 2 tells the story of the first man and woman, Adam and eve. God makes Adam, he makes a garden for Adam. And God loves Adam. But there is something not right. Something is not right in this otherwise perfect creation, but it’s not a creation flaw, it’s an incomplete creation- there is not yet the full image of God reflected in creation, because there is no woman.
SO God parades all the animals around Adam. The job is to name them and find a suitable partner. He starts checking them out and naming them- let’s call that a dog, that’s a cat, that’s a squirrel, that’s a moose- what on earth is that- that’s a giraffe, that’s weird. Whoo, hold on, what is that? I like the looks of that God! I think I found the one God! No Adam, call that a ring tailed lemur, that’s not for you Adam. Anyways, he goes through all of creation, no fellow image bearer is found. God puts man into a deep sleep (and now you know why men can still, to this day, sleep through crying babies, car wrecks, hurricanes, and just about anything else- God created us to go into a deep sleep, so deep, God can stick his hand into our side, rip out a rib, and cover it back up with flesh. Which is just what God did.
Then this is what happened: The man said, now this is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame. Gen 2:23-25.
IF the story ended with chapter one we would have no moral code, no other guidelines, no other instructions about sex. It’s all about making babies. Make as many babies as you possibly can. And this would leave women and children quite literally on their own. But with the introduction of chapter 2 everything about the game of sex changes, because now sex is about so much more than making babies, it’s about a bond between a man and a women, more specifically, a husband and a wife, that which is the most complete refection of the image of God that happens here on earth.
Folks, it comes down to this: Babies and Bonding. The game of sex is a game of making babies, and bonding as a couple. If you remove these two rules from the game, you are not playing the game the way it was meant to be played. In every sexual relationship there must be the acknowledgment, the embrace, of the creational fact, that this is about making babies and bonding as a couple. Babies and bonding between a husband and a wife is what it’s all about. If you don’t play by these rules, you are going to lose. I can’t make that any softer, any more inclusive.
The thing about sex in the bible is this- it is radically exclusive. There is only one way to play the game the way God intends and I know I’m probably going to make 90% of this gathering terrible uncomfortable and upset, but please don’t write me off just yet. Sex in the bible is a gift from God but it is radically exclusive. It is a game to be played by one man and one woman after they are married and become husband and wife. And in the act of sex the couple is to embrace the two realities I’ve just mentioned- babies and bonding. The couple that marries and intends to have sex, and if you get married you really should intend on having sex, you have to be open to the possibility of having babies, and being bonded together as a couple.
Now some of you your minds are already racing all over and I want you to stick with me so let me make a few disclaimers:
One:
Sex is about a man and woman coming together in marriage to make babies and be bound together for their whole lives. Does this mean everyone must get married and make babies- no. Jesus didn’t.
Two:
Does this mean of you haven’t followed this game plan so far, there is not hope, no redemption, no chance for you to have happy an fulfilled life, and sex life? NO, our God is a God of grace, love forgiveness, new beginnings. Stick with me. Don’t write me off yet, because I want to talk about the reality sex with the guidelines of babies and bonding.
Three:
Does every marriage have to have babies? No. You can make it as a couple and not have children. Many couples struggle with conceiving a child. In fact, one on five couples struggle with conceiving a child. You don’t have to have kids, but you have to understand that sex is given to us as the means of pro-creation, and if you separate that reality from sex you are not embracing the full picture of sex. But I would add this- this will offend someone I’m sure. I don’t think you can get into marriage when you are young and fertile and from the outset simply say- we don’t want to have kids. We have no reason other than the fact that we don’t want kids. If you don’t want kids, ever, and you have not other reason why- then you also need to ask if you even want to be married and have sex. When you eliminate babies from the picture you are trying to remove the most important reality of sex- this is how babies are made. And when you do that, I think you have begun to view sex in a distorted way. Your understanding of sex, your expectations for sex, your expectations and understanding of your partner will change and shift. And it will mess your relationship up. Fertility, and making babies is a good thing! Of course this does not apply to older couples past the child bearing years.
Fourth:
Does every sexual encounter have to lead to a baby? Is it only about babies? I really hope not. And no it doesn’t. Because of chapter 2 we know that there is this bonding of flesh and bone that happens between a couple when they are married and when they have sex. And this bond is so deep, this new sexual reality is so powerful, that it actually re-draws the lines of our primary relationship in this world. Where as when we are born we are born into a family and we are flesh of flesh and bone of bone with our parents and siblings, some miraculous happens when we marry and have sex with our spouse- we form a bond that now supercedes that of our parents and siblings- we are now bonded, until death do us part, with out spouse. For this reason a man leaves his family, and cleaves unto his wife.
There are a hundred, a thousand examples and situations and options that we could go through to flesh out this game of sex. That is a good thing to do. But in the end it comes down to this simple, clear, concise, and beautiful playing ground: one man, one woman, in marriage, open and aware that their sexual union is the very place in which life is created, and in which they form a bond stronger than any other tie on this earth. A bond of body, of mind, of emotion, of soul. This is the way the game is played. This is how you win.
You will simply not experience the full pleasure of sex if you don’t not play out sex in the way it was designed to be played. You can’t have fun playing a game, any game, if you do not play by the rules. If you try to play cards, and someone cheats, is everyone having fun- no. If you try to play hockey, and someone else is trying to play football, you are not going to have a good game. If you try to play baseball, but you do not have the equipment, you are not going to have fun. And on and on the illustrations go all pointing to the fact that for a game to be fully enjoyed you have to play with the right equipment, in the right context, and by the right rules. And when you do that- you got yourself a game. When you play with sex you have to get the right equipment in the right context with the right rules. You’ve got to get a man and a woman, in a marriage, with the understanding that babies and bonding is the reality of this game. And when you get that right- dag, there are going to be fireworks, No, I take that back, it’s going to be even better, it’s going to be orgasmic.
Play the game outside of these rules, and you are setting yourself up for a fall, and you are setting yourself up for a lose. And it could be a very big loss. Does that mean you are a loser? Absolutely not. Guess what, with God, we can always restart the game. We can clear the board and start over. But we will have baggage. And I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. You may already have some babies. You already had some bonding. You now have memories and experiences you can’t erase. You know, better than others, that you want to play this game right. You want to set yourself up not for a moment of please, not for an orgasm, at the cost of the whole game.
Because I can promise you this- no orgasm, no sexual encounter, as great as it might be, is worth the potential lose of playing this game poorly.
No orgasm is worth your reputation.
No orgasm is worth your self-esteem.
No orgasm is worth your future marriage.
No orgasm is worth your future bond with your spouse.
No orgasm is worth your career.
No orgasm is worth a disease.
No orgasm is worth your fertility.
No orgasm is worth your family and your kids.
No orgasm is worth your clear conscious.
No orgasm is worth a bad memory, because that memory will last forever.
No orgasm is worth it, because it just an orgasm, it’s just a moment. It’s just some pleasure. And there are so many other things that are much more worthy of your life. But that’s the crazy thing, to see people throw away their life for an orgasm. People literally throw it all away, they ruin everything, for an orgasm.
You want to set yourself up to win in the game of sex, to win over the course of your lifetime. To win every time you have sex with your spouse. To win 2, 3, maybe 4 times every week.
Singles:
I don’t want you to mess up this game of sex, because way too much is at stake. Today, if you have not played this game yet at all, if you have not played around with sex at all, you are setting yourself up for something awesome! You are setting yourself up to play some great games of twister later in your life. Get right with God. Get right with yourself. Figure yourself out, get smart, get strong, get a life, get a job. The get yourself a woman or a man who totally sees this game the same as you, then go for it! You don’t have to test it to see if it will work. It’s not rocket science. It will work. You will mess up at first. You will have some 10 second count downs to launch if you are a guy. If will have many failures to launch if you are a woman. It will not be like the movies. It will not be good. You will have a very steep learning curve, but you’ll get there, and when you do, it is awesome, it really is! And you’ll figure it out together, and you’ll bond together, and it will be awesome!
If you have some sexual history:
If you have played around with sex, and you haven’t gotten on God’s game of Twister, talk to him about it, get this straightened out! Start over! Start a new game, and play it right, and deal with the games of the past, but put them in the past and move on. God is so awesome, and so loving, and so forgiving, and such a Great God of new beginnings. Take him up on that promise, and then play the game well, play it right!
If you’ve really lost at this game:
If you are hurt, divorced, if you have baggage, if you have guilt and shame, if you have messed up in this area of life, if you been messed up by this area of life. If you feel like a loser in the game of sexual twister, we want to love you, help you, pray for you, and help lead you on a great new game plan.
If you are married:
It’s game time! Play it often, play it well. Play it creatively. Play it joyfully. Play it lovingly. Play it by the rules, and play it with babies and bonding in mind. If you’re newlyweds, start talking about the reality of babies. There is so much that needs to be said here, and will be said later, but you have to keep the reality of babies a part of the conversation, because when you are playing around with sex, you are playing in the realm of the creation of life, and that is a very powerful thing you are playing with.
If you are in the throws of raising babies:
God is happy. God loves people, God loves kids, God loves families. Raise you kids to know God and obey his commands, and take some time to bond, jus the two of you, if you know what I mean, and if by now you don’t know what I mean, well just forget about it.
If you are past the child bearing years:
but still have a twinkle in your eye and some spring in your step and….I’m gonna stop there. If this is where you are at- enjoy the bonding that happen between a husband and a wife and continue to nurture that bond that runs thicker than even blood. Celebrate the gift of sex. Be and example to the coming generation. Teach us what you’ve learned over a lifetime of child rearing, of bonding as a couple, of loving God and loving each other. You are awesome and we celebrate you.
Nowhere are we probably more afraid to invite God into the game of Life than in the area of sex. Because let’s face it- for a lot of us, that just sounds kind of weird. But there is nothing kinky or crazy about it, in fact, we know, we really do know that God has to be a part of this area of our lives, because God invented the game, he knows how to play the game, he has shown us the box in which we hold the game, the rules by which we play the game, and he has shown us very clearly what winning the game looks like, and what losing the game looks like. And like all these games that we’ll be talking about - you do not want to lose. You do not want to lose in this area of the game of life. Losing in this area, like all the other areas we’ll be talking about, will spill over into all the other areas, and in the end, can ruin the whole game for you. It can ruin every other part of the game of your life. Or it can be a central part of winning this whole game as it brings into your life a solid and beautiful marriage and family.
Now I don’t have to convince anyone here, at least I don’t think I do, that we are playing a lot of twister in our lives. I hope there are a lot of people who have won at the game of twister, and it’s a game that you really like playing. REALLY like playing. There are others here who have really lost at this game. You have played a whole lot of twister, in a lot of ways, with a lot of different people. You have treated others like an enemy of the game, and you have hurt them. You have been hurt because of the way others played with you. You played the game in some unwise ways, and it’s cost you.
Some folks love stats. They often make my eyes glaze over. But some stats here are very telling in how we are, as a culture, playing the game of sex.
Let’s start with adults: 96% of adults between ages 20-60 report have had sex. They are not virgins. On the flip side, 4% report being virgins, never having had sex. Now the study didn’t get into this, but I will infer from this, and from the bible, that this means that you can live a rich, full fulfilled life, and never have sex. You can be a sexual being, make of female, have that be an integral part of your identity, and yet never engage in the act of sex. We have one stellar example of this life as Christians- His name was Jesus.
Of the sexually active, 29% if men between the ages of 20-60 report having 15 or more sexual partners. 9% of women report 15+. Someone is lying, or that 9% have had way more than just 15 partners. But at this level, “partner” isn’t really the right word. They’re just playing a game of twister with a warm body.
17% of men and 25% of women report having only one sexual partner in their lifetime. Most of these folks are married. Now these starts are really broad strokes: roughly 80% of people marry in their life time. Roughly 50% of these end in divorce, though the divorce rate is dropping. More than one in 3 marriages are affected by an affair. 22% of husbands and 14% of wives have an extra-marital affair. Most of these marriages end.
What about folks under 20? The latest reports indicate a slight decrease in sexual activity amount high school students, with now around 47% indicating they haven’t had, what they consider, sex. There are a whole lot of other stats and things to talk about here. But here is what comes across to me, as what I think is one of the scariest stats- recent stats indicate as many as 1 in 4 teenage girls in the US and Canada have a STD or STI: human papillomavirus (HPV), chlamydia, and herpes simplex virus. Which if course means that about 50% of high schools engaging in sexual activity are getting an STI!
OK, the point is this and should be obvious- many people, and many of our youth, are already playing this game. More importantly, they are already losing at this game. They are harming themselves in physical, emotion, and I would add spiritual ways. They have not been taught the right way to play. And when you take all the moralizing and STI’s and stuff out of the picture, it still boils down to this- less than half of people who are sexually active report being satisfied with their sex life. Less than half. Of those having sex, most say it’s not as satisfying as they’d like it to be, and for many in fact it’s dissatisfying. Indicating that they think they have some significant problems in their sex life.
That is so sad! So here’s the is the good news- do you want to know who is reporting the most sexual satisfaction of all- of all people in North America- married Christian women! And you know whom among this group report the highest rate of sexual satisfaction- the women who’ve only had one sexual partner and who waited until marriage. How about that- abstinence sells sex! If you want the best sex- be a woman and wait until marriage. Women who indicate they are Christian and who are married are statistically the most likely to be winning at the game of twister.
So now let’s get on with talking about how to play this game right and how to win! Because really, this game to too great to mess up!
Step one, following the wisdom of Solomon- fear God. Revere God. Acknowledge that God made sex, he made us sexual, he had a design for our sexuality, a purpose for our sexuality, and plan for our sexuality. That’s our opening move in this game of Twister- God made us sexual and has a design for the expression of our sexuality. God wasn’t surprised by the plumbing. He thought it up, and I think he did a pretty great job. And like any good game, he didn’t just give us the pieces, he made us a game plan. God gave us the parts and a plan. We start by embracing that.
Step two, following Solomon’s wisdom- love God and neighbor as you love your self- somehow your sexuality must reflect your love of God, your love of your neighbor, and your love of yourself. Which should all be so obvious, but somehow isn’t, because so many have removed God from the game of sex, they have not sought to love their neighbor, and they do not even treat themselves in loving and respectful ways.
Let’s go to Genesis 1. In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The story unfolds a brilliant plan of creation- creating the foundation for the entire universe, for all of life. Read it. Embrace it. It’s awesome. You can’t understand fully Christian faith, or life I would add, without becoming intimately knowledgeable with the first three chapters of Genesis. You certainly can’t understand sex without these chapters.
God makes the realms of creation- the universe, the atmosphere, and the earth, God has laid out the playing field so to speak. He created what was necessary to support life. Then he starts to fill them. He makes the sun, the moon, the stars. He fills the universe. He makes the birds and the fish- he fills the atmosphere. Then, day six, he starts to fill the earth.
He starts by making all the animals: livestock, wild animals, and the crawlies. He makes it all. Then he says something totally new, totally different: let us make man in our image. Already we are seeing very clearly the Trinitarian overtones in the revelation of our God. Already we know that humans are going to be intimately tied to and like the rest of creation, but already we know that there is going to be something very unique, wonderful, and extraordinarily different about humans.
God says: let us make man in our image, and them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all creatures that move along the ground. SO God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; make and female he created the.
We do not get the full image of God without men and women. We can never be complete without one another. It is absolutely essential. And then God let’s us know why: God blessed them and said to them, be fruitful and increase in number.
The very first command that God gave to men and women was to have sex! And ever since that day teenagers have been trying passionately to honor God and obey that command frequently as they can! What does he actually say- be fruitful and increase in number. The first command is to have babies. Make babies! We just happen to know that the best way to make babies is to have sex.
Here’s the thing we have to acknowledge about our God- he wants people. He wants us to make more people. God likes babies because he likes his image bearers and he wants more of his image bearers to populate the creation he made for us. We will never start to understand the game of sex until we are willing to acknowledge and embrace this reality- God likes us being fruitful. God wants us to join with him in the creative process and create babies!
If the bible story ended there we would have a very clear mandate, and very few instruction on how to carry it out. And let’s be very clear here- women would be at a terrible disadvantage to men. It would be our job to go and get as many women pregnant as possible. To sow our seed and fill the earth.
But thankfully the story doesn’t end there. In fact, it now goes way deeper. God says I have to give you chapter 2 so you know how to play this game. Lets’ go there: Chapter 2 tells the story of the first man and woman, Adam and eve. God makes Adam, he makes a garden for Adam. And God loves Adam. But there is something not right. Something is not right in this otherwise perfect creation, but it’s not a creation flaw, it’s an incomplete creation- there is not yet the full image of God reflected in creation, because there is no woman.
SO God parades all the animals around Adam. The job is to name them and find a suitable partner. He starts checking them out and naming them- let’s call that a dog, that’s a cat, that’s a squirrel, that’s a moose- what on earth is that- that’s a giraffe, that’s weird. Whoo, hold on, what is that? I like the looks of that God! I think I found the one God! No Adam, call that a ring tailed lemur, that’s not for you Adam. Anyways, he goes through all of creation, no fellow image bearer is found. God puts man into a deep sleep (and now you know why men can still, to this day, sleep through crying babies, car wrecks, hurricanes, and just about anything else- God created us to go into a deep sleep, so deep, God can stick his hand into our side, rip out a rib, and cover it back up with flesh. Which is just what God did.
Then this is what happened: The man said, now this is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame. Gen 2:23-25.
IF the story ended with chapter one we would have no moral code, no other guidelines, no other instructions about sex. It’s all about making babies. Make as many babies as you possibly can. And this would leave women and children quite literally on their own. But with the introduction of chapter 2 everything about the game of sex changes, because now sex is about so much more than making babies, it’s about a bond between a man and a women, more specifically, a husband and a wife, that which is the most complete refection of the image of God that happens here on earth.
Folks, it comes down to this: Babies and Bonding. The game of sex is a game of making babies, and bonding as a couple. If you remove these two rules from the game, you are not playing the game the way it was meant to be played. In every sexual relationship there must be the acknowledgment, the embrace, of the creational fact, that this is about making babies and bonding as a couple. Babies and bonding between a husband and a wife is what it’s all about. If you don’t play by these rules, you are going to lose. I can’t make that any softer, any more inclusive.
The thing about sex in the bible is this- it is radically exclusive. There is only one way to play the game the way God intends and I know I’m probably going to make 90% of this gathering terrible uncomfortable and upset, but please don’t write me off just yet. Sex in the bible is a gift from God but it is radically exclusive. It is a game to be played by one man and one woman after they are married and become husband and wife. And in the act of sex the couple is to embrace the two realities I’ve just mentioned- babies and bonding. The couple that marries and intends to have sex, and if you get married you really should intend on having sex, you have to be open to the possibility of having babies, and being bonded together as a couple.
Now some of you your minds are already racing all over and I want you to stick with me so let me make a few disclaimers:
One:
Sex is about a man and woman coming together in marriage to make babies and be bound together for their whole lives. Does this mean everyone must get married and make babies- no. Jesus didn’t.
Two:
Does this mean of you haven’t followed this game plan so far, there is not hope, no redemption, no chance for you to have happy an fulfilled life, and sex life? NO, our God is a God of grace, love forgiveness, new beginnings. Stick with me. Don’t write me off yet, because I want to talk about the reality sex with the guidelines of babies and bonding.
Three:
Does every marriage have to have babies? No. You can make it as a couple and not have children. Many couples struggle with conceiving a child. In fact, one on five couples struggle with conceiving a child. You don’t have to have kids, but you have to understand that sex is given to us as the means of pro-creation, and if you separate that reality from sex you are not embracing the full picture of sex. But I would add this- this will offend someone I’m sure. I don’t think you can get into marriage when you are young and fertile and from the outset simply say- we don’t want to have kids. We have no reason other than the fact that we don’t want kids. If you don’t want kids, ever, and you have not other reason why- then you also need to ask if you even want to be married and have sex. When you eliminate babies from the picture you are trying to remove the most important reality of sex- this is how babies are made. And when you do that, I think you have begun to view sex in a distorted way. Your understanding of sex, your expectations for sex, your expectations and understanding of your partner will change and shift. And it will mess your relationship up. Fertility, and making babies is a good thing! Of course this does not apply to older couples past the child bearing years.
Fourth:
Does every sexual encounter have to lead to a baby? Is it only about babies? I really hope not. And no it doesn’t. Because of chapter 2 we know that there is this bonding of flesh and bone that happens between a couple when they are married and when they have sex. And this bond is so deep, this new sexual reality is so powerful, that it actually re-draws the lines of our primary relationship in this world. Where as when we are born we are born into a family and we are flesh of flesh and bone of bone with our parents and siblings, some miraculous happens when we marry and have sex with our spouse- we form a bond that now supercedes that of our parents and siblings- we are now bonded, until death do us part, with out spouse. For this reason a man leaves his family, and cleaves unto his wife.
There are a hundred, a thousand examples and situations and options that we could go through to flesh out this game of sex. That is a good thing to do. But in the end it comes down to this simple, clear, concise, and beautiful playing ground: one man, one woman, in marriage, open and aware that their sexual union is the very place in which life is created, and in which they form a bond stronger than any other tie on this earth. A bond of body, of mind, of emotion, of soul. This is the way the game is played. This is how you win.
You will simply not experience the full pleasure of sex if you don’t not play out sex in the way it was designed to be played. You can’t have fun playing a game, any game, if you do not play by the rules. If you try to play cards, and someone cheats, is everyone having fun- no. If you try to play hockey, and someone else is trying to play football, you are not going to have a good game. If you try to play baseball, but you do not have the equipment, you are not going to have fun. And on and on the illustrations go all pointing to the fact that for a game to be fully enjoyed you have to play with the right equipment, in the right context, and by the right rules. And when you do that- you got yourself a game. When you play with sex you have to get the right equipment in the right context with the right rules. You’ve got to get a man and a woman, in a marriage, with the understanding that babies and bonding is the reality of this game. And when you get that right- dag, there are going to be fireworks, No, I take that back, it’s going to be even better, it’s going to be orgasmic.
Play the game outside of these rules, and you are setting yourself up for a fall, and you are setting yourself up for a lose. And it could be a very big loss. Does that mean you are a loser? Absolutely not. Guess what, with God, we can always restart the game. We can clear the board and start over. But we will have baggage. And I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. You may already have some babies. You already had some bonding. You now have memories and experiences you can’t erase. You know, better than others, that you want to play this game right. You want to set yourself up not for a moment of please, not for an orgasm, at the cost of the whole game.
Because I can promise you this- no orgasm, no sexual encounter, as great as it might be, is worth the potential lose of playing this game poorly.
No orgasm is worth your reputation.
No orgasm is worth your self-esteem.
No orgasm is worth your future marriage.
No orgasm is worth your future bond with your spouse.
No orgasm is worth your career.
No orgasm is worth a disease.
No orgasm is worth your fertility.
No orgasm is worth your family and your kids.
No orgasm is worth your clear conscious.
No orgasm is worth a bad memory, because that memory will last forever.
No orgasm is worth it, because it just an orgasm, it’s just a moment. It’s just some pleasure. And there are so many other things that are much more worthy of your life. But that’s the crazy thing, to see people throw away their life for an orgasm. People literally throw it all away, they ruin everything, for an orgasm.
You want to set yourself up to win in the game of sex, to win over the course of your lifetime. To win every time you have sex with your spouse. To win 2, 3, maybe 4 times every week.
Singles:
I don’t want you to mess up this game of sex, because way too much is at stake. Today, if you have not played this game yet at all, if you have not played around with sex at all, you are setting yourself up for something awesome! You are setting yourself up to play some great games of twister later in your life. Get right with God. Get right with yourself. Figure yourself out, get smart, get strong, get a life, get a job. The get yourself a woman or a man who totally sees this game the same as you, then go for it! You don’t have to test it to see if it will work. It’s not rocket science. It will work. You will mess up at first. You will have some 10 second count downs to launch if you are a guy. If will have many failures to launch if you are a woman. It will not be like the movies. It will not be good. You will have a very steep learning curve, but you’ll get there, and when you do, it is awesome, it really is! And you’ll figure it out together, and you’ll bond together, and it will be awesome!
If you have some sexual history:
If you have played around with sex, and you haven’t gotten on God’s game of Twister, talk to him about it, get this straightened out! Start over! Start a new game, and play it right, and deal with the games of the past, but put them in the past and move on. God is so awesome, and so loving, and so forgiving, and such a Great God of new beginnings. Take him up on that promise, and then play the game well, play it right!
If you’ve really lost at this game:
If you are hurt, divorced, if you have baggage, if you have guilt and shame, if you have messed up in this area of life, if you been messed up by this area of life. If you feel like a loser in the game of sexual twister, we want to love you, help you, pray for you, and help lead you on a great new game plan.
If you are married:
It’s game time! Play it often, play it well. Play it creatively. Play it joyfully. Play it lovingly. Play it by the rules, and play it with babies and bonding in mind. If you’re newlyweds, start talking about the reality of babies. There is so much that needs to be said here, and will be said later, but you have to keep the reality of babies a part of the conversation, because when you are playing around with sex, you are playing in the realm of the creation of life, and that is a very powerful thing you are playing with.
If you are in the throws of raising babies:
God is happy. God loves people, God loves kids, God loves families. Raise you kids to know God and obey his commands, and take some time to bond, jus the two of you, if you know what I mean, and if by now you don’t know what I mean, well just forget about it.
If you are past the child bearing years:
but still have a twinkle in your eye and some spring in your step and….I’m gonna stop there. If this is where you are at- enjoy the bonding that happen between a husband and a wife and continue to nurture that bond that runs thicker than even blood. Celebrate the gift of sex. Be and example to the coming generation. Teach us what you’ve learned over a lifetime of child rearing, of bonding as a couple, of loving God and loving each other. You are awesome and we celebrate you.
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